Lakehouse

Chapter Seventeen

"You have got to be kidding me," mutters Levi. 

I bring my palm to my face, hitting myself almost as hard as I can. I suddenly want to scream with frustration instead of fear or determination or stress like Theo and I did at the lake. How could we be such idiots? This lantern was our only light source and I demolished it. Our cell is so pitch black that I can't even see my hand as I pull it away from my face, letting it hover inches away from my eyes. Why didn't I think of this before I shattered it? Why didn't I take the freaking candle out before I broke the glass?

I hear my brother kicking his feet against the ground roughly, groaning in anger. I picture him with his hands in his hair, pulling on it, his eyes closed as he stares upward. I know that's what he's doing. That's what he always used to do when he got frustrated.

"I'm so retarded," I whisper to myself, hoping Levi won't hear me, even though I know that he will.

"You are not," he says, proving my point. "We're just too anxious to get out of here."

I sigh, biting the inside of my cheek. I know he's right; there's nothing in the entire world that I want more than to escape, and I'm sure the same applies for him. He's been here so much longer than me. I'm surprised he hasn't gone mad, or had his body give up on him from all the beating and mental scarring he's had. I mean, if he hasn't even tried to get out of this cell, I know it was worse than I could have ever imagined. My sympathy for him is overwhelming.

"Okay," I say. "We can still do this in the dark, right?"

I kneel down and reach my hands to the floor carefully, lightly pressing my fingertips against the dirt in an attempt to find the glass shards. I feel my heart beating hard in my chest; even though this isn't something considerably dangerous, I don't want to have any more blood, especially on my hands. 

"Just don't cut yourself," says Levi. I hear him start to feel around for shards as well. 

The glass is warm when I finally find a piece. I pick it up in my hand and lay it rest in my palm, letting the heat soak into my skin. I run my finger along the edges, discovering that its shaped like a triangle. It's razor sharp- if I pressed my fingertip on it any harder, I would bleed. In order to dig through the wall, we'll have to hold the shards with our sleeves covering our hands, and even with that we have to be careful. I'm hoping Levi's shirt is thick enough that it won't hurt him; I don't want anymore harm to come to him.  

Suddenly I feel like we've switched roles; I'm the healthier, stronger one, which makes me feel more in charge of him than he is of me. It's a strange feeling, knowing that I'll have to take the hit this time. I know he'll try and try as hard as he can to be my shield, but he won't succeed. I need to support him in every way possible– promise him that I can take care of us, that he doesn't need to worry about me.

"Got one," he says, "Do you?" I hear his footsteps bounding towards me, just loud enough for me to sense. A few seconds later he is standing just behind me, his empty hand on my shoulder and his breathing quiet. 

"Yes," I reply. I reach up and take his hand in mine. Chills go up my spine as I clutch his fingers; I can feel his tiny bones under his skin, flexing as he positions them in between my own. God, this is worse than I thought it would be. I lead him forward through the blackness where I think the front wall is, my hand that's holding the shard stretched out in front of me so that I don't run into the wall. 

Once I finally feel the filthiness of it underneath my palm, I stop and untangle my fingers with Levi. I turn in his direction, although I still can't see him, and sigh. "Are you ready?" I ask, rubbing my thumb against the flat surface of the glass in my hand.