Confide In You (Zack Merrick Fanfic)

Chapter 5

Marina left a picture of her in my room, I know because she told me. She described it to me as well.

"It's a picture of me when I went to my spring dance. I have on a champagne dress on, I wore black Converse, cause I wanted to be comfortable. My hair was curly and I had a small rhinestone crown on. You'll see this when you wake up. I hope I'm here when you wake up." She fell quiet. I could hear her phone vibrate and then I could hear her type out a reply. "I have to go. Uncle Kev's waiting for me." She sounded so sad and defeated. I wanted to protect her from him. I wanted to let her know that things were gonna be okay. Her weight left the bed. She kissed my cheek tenderly, my skin felt damp where she'd kissed me at. Something told me that she'd been crying.

The door shut and I was all alone. To pass the time, I preferred to pretend that I was awake. I'd be lying if I said I felt bad for missing so much of school. I did; however, I mainly missed seeing my friends, and I missed not being able to graduate. All those late nights of studying and doing homework, for nothing. What if I died?

Would I be happy with the life I'd leave behind? The answer would be a complicated kinda. The reason for that being that I was glad that I'd been the person I was, but then I was kinda regretting how I always went by the rules. There was so much I hadn't done, but wanted to do. Some of them were easy, daily things, like I wanted to be a better cook and clean up my room. I wanted to work out, the universe knows I'd probably lost some muscle in the past months.

My stomach felt uneasy as the sound of someone flat-lining pierced my ears. Groups of three, it sounded like, fled down the hall, shouting code something. There was lots of yelling. My stomach made me feel nauseous, but even if I did want to throw up, it probably wouldn't happen. The eternal drone of that machine didn't stop. Whoever's heart that was had stopped, and death had come.

My mood dampened. That could be me. My mom would be crushed. Emily wouldn't understand. What would Linda or Marina think? As far as anyone could tell, I was as silent as a dead person, lips shut, ears open. The only thing letting them know I was alive was the machine beside me that counted my heartbeats.

I wasn't dead. For some reason, the universe decided that I should suffer hearing all of these things. Why did I have to hear and understand that world around me? Marina could've been getting raped by her uncle while someone died. Linda could be working while inside her mind caved in on itself out of sorrow. My mom was probably home making dinner for Emily. Ordinary lives. Lives that went unchanged as a life was lost.

I really had no clue why some person I'd never met's death bothered me as much as it did. I guess maybe it was because they were so close, and that could've been me at any given moment. But that's the same, even outside these hospital walls. Car accidents, plane crashes, drive-bys, robberies, murders, diseases all kill people every day. The person down the hall was one in thousands that died that day. It's sad to think that. Who was their death affecting? Were they at peace? Did they live a happy life?

Opposite to the thousands dying, there were thousands being born. Taking the place of the deceased. It's a cycle. Babies with eyes bright and innocent enter the world as the people with varying eyes and lives leave our world. Beautiful and tragic. In a way, we all are expendable. We only leave a mark on who we choose to.

____

I died that night. But unlike the other times, I was dead for about eleven minutes. When I was lost, I found a light, a man stood before me. His eyes were a dark gray, held with feelings of sadness and tiredness.

"Sir?" I could speak, after so long of not speaking, I could. He stared at me.

"Take care of my daughter, or I'll haunt your ass." He spoke coldly, but gently. With a wink, he ran away, slowly disappearing before my eyes. I ran after him.

"Come back! Help me! Help me!" I screamed after the man. I heard a chuckle.

"Have my soul, son. People need you more than me." His voice rang out above me. I crumpled to the ground as the world grew brighter and brighter, until it dulled to a boring gray. I was alive again, still lost in the blackness of my unconsciousness. High-fives sounded from the doctors. Who had that man been? He'd said he gave me his soul. Do souls even work that way? I doubted that he was God. He didn't look old, nor did he seem really wise and all-knowing. He had been normal. No special powers. Nothing. I laid there, my mind running wild, as the world continued turning.

____

The man that had died was Marina's father. She was crying hysterically the next day. She said the cancer had won. It had finally clicked in my mind of who the man had been. He told me to take care of his daughter.

Her words were incomprehensible, and I could understand why. I couldn't fathom her pain, but I felt it, somewhat. My arms ached to hold her and comfort her. She was all alone now, and it hurt to know that. Marina cried for so long that I wondered how no one had walked in. She laid down in the bed beside me and sniffled. He body went limp and I knew she'd gone to sleep. This wasn't the first time she'd slept next to me.

I tried to move my arm, give her some sort of hope. But my arm remained still. Marina snored lightly as she slept. I tried to contact her father in some shape or form, but came up empty-handed. He must've really loved her. Had he known about his broter's actions? The answer was most likey a no. Marina pretended to be strong. I admired that, but that's also what cause her the most pain. I wished she would deal with her emotions when they happened instead of bottling them up.

I dreamed of the white in-between. I'd been in the last time I'd died. I could still hear the echo of Marina's dad, telling me to take care of her.

I wanted to tell her about it, but whenever I awoke, would I even remember? That could also happen. I could forget about even being mugged, my mental list, meeting Marina...I could forget everything. If that were to happen...I had no idea how I'd take that.

Being alone in my head made me feel lonely. I didn't feel pain, only others' touches. I heard, but my sight was gone. I imagined things so vividly, I was confused if it was real or not.

Marina shifted beside me and the kissed my cheek tenderly. I took comfort in it, since, that's what I wanted the most.