Dead Heart *Ziam*

Chapter 4

I highly suggest listening to Talking To The Moon while reading. First off, since this chapter is based off the song, and secondly simply because Bruno Mars is perfection. Enjoy my lovelies. ~isnt_harry_lovely

Liam POV

It's been a week. A whole week since Zayn was torn away from me. It's been hell. I felt like I couldn't go on without him. I haven't eaten. I haven't slept. I just couldn't do anything anymore.

I sat up straighter on the couch. I felt like the heaping sadness shifted inside of me. I felt tear eyed, but I quickly shook it off. I will not cry. I will not cry.

I look to my left only to see the picture of Zayn and me at Disney world. I took him there for our 2 year anniversary. I grabbed the picture, my feeble, shaky hands holding a bare grip. I swiped my thumb over the still image of Zayn, standing on the other side of Mickey Mouse, a smile on  his face. I couldn't help but think about how much joy he had that day, and soon enough I felt myself fall into a flashback.

~FlashBack~

"Liam! Liam! We need to go ride the Ferris wheel!"

I laughed, louder than I ever have before. I slung my arm around his skinny waist, pulling him closer to me. Zayn snuggled closer into the gesture, pressing a kiss to my cheek.

"Let's go, love," I said. Zayn cheered happily before running in front of me, grabbing my hand and pulling me towards the Ferris wheel.

The line wasn't as long as anticipated, and before long, we were at the front.

"Keep your hands and feet inside the cart at all times, and if possible try not rock the cart. Enjoy the ride."

We buckled the seat belt, making sure it was tight enough, as the guy closed the door to our cart, before the man started the ride. Zayn instantly grabbed my hand, our fingers interlaced .

"You aren't scared, are you?" I asked him, my full attention towards him. He smiled and looked down, shaking his head.

"Well, okay maybe a little." He admitted to me. I smiled at him, his shy answer.

"You don't have to worry. I'm here for you. I would never let anything happen to you."

Never let anything happen to you

~Flashback over~

That last part echoed a evil remembrance of my promise to him. I felt so angry, I disappointed him. I let him down, I lied to him. I stood up and grabbed at my messy, long hair that I haven't cut for weeks. I felt like I was going to breakdown again.  That overwhelming feeling began to over ride me again. I started breathing in and out heavily, my vision becoming blurry.

"I'm sorry Zayn." I kept repeating as I walked around the room. I felt like it was all spinning around me. It was like echos were screaming at me, the room began to spin faster, my vision a complete blur. My breathing heavily and rapidly pacing itself. I felt I was being closed in by the memories of him shutting me down into a smaller version of myself.

"I'm sorry Zayn!" I yell out loud. But it didn't stop the whispers and the many flashbacks that attacked each other for my attention. I fell to my knees, crying, sobbing uncontrollably. I dropped down to my elbows, crawling to the nearest corner, I curled up, tucking my knees into my chest. Crying, not caring how thin these four walls may be. Not caring that the neighbors could hear me. I'm just a shell of a man without him. I'm nothing without him. I continued to cry, mourning to myself. Falling deep in my own sadness. What am I without Zayn? He meant more to me than the air I breath. He was my air. His smile gave me life, his presence left me speechless- I still don't believe he's gone. He can't be. Why would God punish me this way? He was the only angel that could save me from my own demons. Or whatever ones that may have been after me. What am I saying? Have I gone crazy? Maybe. Zayn was my sanity. He kept me from being an insane mess.

"God Liam, where would you be without me?"  He said to me once. And I would be here, crying my empty heart out in a cold and lonely corner. With no one giving a shit about my depressed tears.

"I might go insane." I said jokingly. Obviously this isn't a joke anymore. I placed my hand on my chest, my heart, it isn't beating like it use to. It would be racing because Zayn would lie his head here. But his head isn't on my chest. My heart feels like it's been deprived of its beat. If hearts had emotions, it'll feel worse than I do. I just want him here with me.

3 Hours later------------------------

I've been sitting on this empty bed for an hour. After I took my shower, my tears mixing with the pellets of shower water, my effortless screams bounced off the walls, my head pushed against the cold wall, I refused to eat dinner. The lump in my throat made it impossible to swallow anything;except my tears. I walked up to the night stand, and I pressed play on the small ihome system Zayn bought me for Christmas last year. I walked up to the big window. Zayn and I always sat here, hanging our feet off the edge of the sill, talking about a variety of endless things. I opened the big doors to the window, and began to climb my way up until I found. sturdy seat, and I sat down. The night sky was blanketed with a thick clouding.

I know you're somewhere out there

Somewhere far away

I want you back

I want you back

My neighbors think I'm crazy

But they don't understand

You're all I had

You're all I had

At night when the stars light up my room

I say to myself

Talking to the moon

Trying to get to you

In hope you're the other side

Talking to me too

Oh am I fool

Who sits alone

Talking to the moon

As soon as I heard the beginning melody I began to sing along. I tried to relieve some stress by softly singing. I stared at where the glowing moon should be, but it was still blocked by the gloomy clouds.

The song was nearly over. I felt a random wind start to breeze through the air. I didn't feel like getting up to retrieve the quilt of the bed.

In hope you're on the other side

Talking to me to

Oh am I am I a fool

Who sits alone

Talking to the moon

I know you're somewhere out there Somewhere far away

I stared back at the foggy glow of the sky. A single tear falling.

"Zayn, please. Just let me know you're here." My plead was weak in my dry tone. I didn't even drop my head, I continued to stare at the fog. The wind began to pick up in speed, not to harsh, it stayed mellow.

"Please." I whispered one more time. Leaves began to blow around, I could hear the somewhat musical noises of the wind chimes from across the neighbourhood. The barking of dogs settled down, everything was silent, except the whispers of the winds throughout my eyes. And then something started happening with the clouds. They began to move. They parted right in the middle, moving out of the way completely until the moon light was fully flashing on me. My eyes gleamed up, staring at the bright and big, nearly blue moon. I think Bruno isn't the only one who knows someone is out there, right there in the eyes of the moon.

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Hello there!  First I would gladly like to thank you all for 2.6k reads. Like omfg wow, it's only the fourth chapter! Thank you so much, from both authors. We're sorry for the lack of updates, we've been on vacation for a while, it was kind of hard to write ya know? But the other author is coming back to us soon, btw her birthday is tomorrow! Reasons to celebrate ahaha, well until next time, we'll try to speed up production of chapters. Love you guys! ~5mfrm