The Company

Messy

So come rain on my parade,
'Cause I want to feel it
Come pull me over the edge
'Cause my head is in overdrive
I'm sorry but it's too late
And it's not worth saving
So come rain on my parade
I think we're doomed
And now there's no way back

- Bring me the Horizon

3 years ago

I've got a fat fucking lip leaking blood all down my chin. It's about the only thing I can feel as Vik and I are marched into Aramis' office.

Vik must be hurt, he must be bleeding worse than me, with the fight he put up all the way here. I don't know, because I can't look at him. I can't see anything but the dark corners of my surroundings, and the rough, knuckle-scarred hands clamped around my arms like snakes around a rodent.

I've given up.

I can't believe I allowed myself to think that I could slavage any morsel of happiness in this filthy rotten world, in this filthy fucking place, in this filthy fucking company.

I give up. I wish Viktor would too.

Even now, he has to be shoved into the dimly lit office, while I'm simply steered in like an inanimate machine, or a wheelbarrow. Something stupid and mindless and without a soul.

Aramis is sitting with his feet up on his desk, a glass of something hanging languidly in his fingers. He's moving his feet to some tune in his head, humming indistinctly. There's candles all over, white and holy looking. Their light makes the shadows dance gleefully around him, the devil sitting comfortably in his throne.

"Ah! There they are!" he sings merrily as we enter, pushed down into the two chairs in front of his desk. "My stars, my two little beacons!"

I stare at my hands.

"You like the candles?" Aramis asks, withdrawing his feet from the desk and pulling a cigar out from his jacket pocket. "Therapist said aroma therapy would help me decompress. But," he says, pointing the cigar our way, "it's hard to destress when your two best Attendants are trying to shackup right under your nose."

"We weren't--" Viktor starts, but Aramis raises a hand, taking a long drag from his cigar and making a show of puffing out smoke rings that encircle Viktor like a snare.

"I've got both of your apartments bugged," he states with a level stare, all the playfulness gone. "I heard everything. You wanting to run away, you wanting to leave The Company."

"Aramis--" I say, without even knowing what to say.

"Sasha," he raises his voice over mine, "Viktor... I consider you two to be somewhat like my children. You wouldn't believe how proud I am of the two of you. It's a little fucked up to let your children screw each other, isn't it? And isn't it even more fucked up to let your children be ungrateful to you after all you have done for them?"

Viktor and I remain silent, but I hear him gritting his teeth, and I bet Aramis does too.

"Now, every child goes through a rebellious stage-- I get it. But defiance and ungratefulness must be punished, if you are to be a good parent."

"Sasha didn't do anything," Viktor cuts in. "I was the one who suggested running away."

"What?" I snap, looking up at him for the first time since coming to. "We both did it!"

"Sasha--"

"Ahhh," Aramis sighs, "love. Isn't it wonderful?"

The way he asks makes my scalp tingle.

"We all want love, don't we?" he continues, waving his cigar around so that the smoke wafts around wildly. "It's why men write poems, why people sing songs. Hell, it's why I've been married three times. But for you?" he asks, his eyes resting on us both respectively for an uncomfortable moment. "For you two, it cannot be. You're meant for bigger things-- power. You are the foundation of The Company. You want love? We have the means for that-- we got anyone you want, Viktor. You want an asian, a latina maybe? She's a phone call away, no charge. And Sasha, you're a woman. All you have to do is ask and you can take any guy home! We all got those base needs, right? I get that, that I can understand..."

His tone darkens again, dangerously so. Viktor and I just sit there, waiting for what we know is to come.

"But to leave me? Me? After everything I have given you? A job, power, a roof over your head, the ability to be more than just average? Does that mean nothing?" He slams a hand down on his desk, smoke flying out his nostrils like he's a menacing dragon. "Where is the loyalty? Huh?!"

"We're sorry," I say evenly, because I can hear Viktor squeeze the armrest of his chair and I am afraid for him. If he lashes out, Aramis will punish him worse.

"I know, I know," Aramis nods. "But still--" he snaps his fingers and all of a sudden I am being held back in my chair, restraints being tied around my arms and legs. I don't struggle. Struggling will make it worse.

The same is being done to Viktor. He is less compliant, knocking one of his attackers over.

"Viktor, don't!" I yell at him.

"Listen to her, Viktor," Aramis says, standing up and coming around his desk to lean against it in front of us. "You're making it worse."

"Just let her go," Viktor pleads. "She would never betray you. She would never choose anything over you and The Company!"

My heart sinks in my chest. I feel as though Viktor has reached inside my stomach and pulled my guts out.

"Oh, I know," Aramis agrees calmly, coming up to me and stroking my cheek lovingly, staring down at me in a way that could fool anyone else that he were some benevolent leader. But I know better. "That's why it's she who will be bearing the brunt of the hurt, and why you will watch."

"What?!" Viktor roars, struggling against his restraints.

A deep relief spreads over me, thawing the frozen lump that had balled up in my stomach. Viktor will not be hurt.

"Your actions affect The Company. Seeing another member be tangibly hurt by your choices is the best way to illustrate why it is you should be grateful for what you are given."

"Aramis, please!" Viktor cries as the devil walks back around his desk, pulling open one of its drawers.

"Viktor, stop it," I say.

"I... Sasha, I'm so sorry," he finally chokes out.

I nod.

Aramis pulls out various instruments. Pliers, knives, a lash, rope, a stapler, brass knuckles...

"Put a tarp down, boys," Aramis chimes to his goons. "This'll be messy".