The Wendy Protection Program

Chapter 11

Blake's lips press against mine and there is an explosion, my skin is on fire and there is fireworks all around me. Before I know what I am doing I am on top of him, straddling him with my hands is his hair as his lips move against mine. It's a hungry kiss and I need it  just as much as he does but it's not enough.

I need more and as if he can hear my thoughts his tongue brushes over my lower lip making me moan and he pulls me tighter against him. His tongue sweeps over my lip again and this time I gasp giving him full access to my mouth. His tongue presses into my mouth and the feeling is amazing, he slows down the kiss and it's so sensual I feel like I could explode.

Blake was not kidding when he said he was the expert at kissing, not that I know anything about it he is just much better at it than Will. Will. Shit. My brain kicks into gear and I realize that I am kissing Blake, no making out with him.

In my panic I do the first thing I can think of and bite his lower lip, hard. When he starts to pull away I shove him and jump up from the bed. I run to the kitchen just to put some distance between us. What the fuck just happened? Did I really just kiss Blake, did that just happen?

I hear him enter the kitchen but I don't turn to look at him, how do I face him after what just happened. He kissed me but I didn't do anything to stop it until we were deep into it and Will how could I do this to him? He is so nice and everything I want in a guy and normal, we just started hanging out and now I go and fuck it up like this.

"Wendy..." it's just a whisper.

"Leave me alone, please just go," my voice shakes and I don't know if it's from unshed tears or anger but I don't want him around when I find out.

"Wendy can we just..."

BANG!

The mug I threw against the wall narrowly misses him and showers down to the floor in little pieces.

"Fucking Leave!" I yell at the top of my lungs.

I hear his footsteps retreat back in the direction of the guest room. What have I done? Why did he kiss me? All we ever do is fight or rather I fight with him and he tells me bullshit stories about protocol and then goes and breaks it himself. I am so confused.

I clean up the mug and send my mom a text to tell her that it's safe to come back home. I head down to my room and decide to take a shower maybe the water flowing over me will wash away this feeling of dirtiness I have. Like what we did somehow made me impure.  

I stand under the water and let it flow over me, I stand there long enough for my parents to come back, long enough for them to go up to bed, long enough for the water to run cold but the feeling won't go away. I keep replaying it in my head scolding myself for letting it happen. As I climb into bed I pray for the sweet oblivion of sleep to take this feeling away.

I don't know what the feeling is, it's not sadness and it's not as strong as anger almost like disappointment, at myself maybe. I'll just sleep it off and hopefully in the morning it all just feels like a bad dream. I change into my fluffiest pj's and get into bed.

The sound of a motorbike wakes me up in the early morning hours but I ignore it and go back to the blissful nothingness of sleep. Later my bedroom door opens and a tiny blond person comes in, I scoot over, lift up the covers and wait for her to climb into bed with me. We sleep like that for about another hour until she wakes me up asking for food.

I make my specialty, scrambled eggs and toast, some would argue that it's the only thing I know how to cook, they would be right. I really suck at cooking, it just doesn't come natural to me and it is not from lack of trying. My mom is a great cook but I gave up trying to learn from her after the fourth time I burned rice, just plain rice.