F.A.G. (boyxboy)

F.A.G.

 "So you're a fag," Rick said. The way his voice rose on the word fag reminded me of the way he said everything else he was half-surprised, half-"I knew it" about. At least he was not yelling at me even though the word "fag" was kind of derogatory.

"Yes, I guess you could say that," I replied, watching the cars go by outside of the window.

"Wow, my little bro is a fag." I watched him shake his head in the reflection of the window. "Wow."

I sighed and turned to face him. "Yes, I'm gay," I said as I had only a minute ago. "I am gay, Rick. Understand?"

Rick grinned. "Yeah, I know you like men, the mans, the male, the xy chromosome, the dong." He paused. "But why?"

"It's my own personal sexual preference, Rick. I just am. I can't change it if I tried." It was true. I had tried, albeit failed, to be straight from when I knew that I was a "fag" onward, but a new town meant a new start, right? In my old town, everyone knew me, or at least thought they did, but here, no one knew that I even existed.

"I just... wow, you're gay, dude. I mean you're gay!" he said, leaning forward over his food.

"I thought we were over this," I said. "I like men, that's what gay means."Did I have to spell it out for him or something? Maybe, that was a good idea. "I'm g-a-"

"I know how it's spelled, Nick," he said, cutting me off. "Our family is just full of surprises, isn't it? I mean first I go to MIT for freaking astrophysics, when I got accepted for Notre Dame and Duke for basketball on a full fucking scholarship! I still think I was out of my damn mind when I made that decision, Nick, but I think I'm going to realize that I made the right decision years from now. Now, you come out as a f-as gay to me over Chinese food. I swear that the next surprise is going to be some crap like mom is really our aunt too or something."

I chuckled. "Well, that'd be weird considering that our parents are from opposite sides of the country, but okay, Rick, whatever you say." I eyed him carefully. "I'm just glad you're taking this a lot better than I thought you would."

"What did you think I would do, condemn you or some shit like that? Sorry, Nick, but I can't say crap considering some of the stuff I've done, and I've done some stuff, bro, some crazy stuff."

"I can imagine." I shook my head because I really could in all truthfulness.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Yeah, go ahead." His question couldn't be that bad.

"Okay, so what I don't understand is how you don't like boobs."

I was wrong. "Here we go," I mumbled to myself.

"See boobs, or at least perky ones, are pretty awesome. Sometimes, I wish I had them, you know? It's so weird to think about, but two sacks of skin covered fat equals lots of fun. They're usually soft and warm and just the right kind of squishy. God, I don't know what I'd do in a world without boobs. A boobless world is hell, Nick." He brought his glass of water to his lips.

"And a dickless world is worse."

Rick immediately slammed down his glass and sputtered on the water in his mouth, almost choking. "Dude," he said once he regained his composure. "Just shut up and eat your damn food."

As I ate my chow mein, Rick stared me down across the table as he ate his own food. At first, it was just... strange to see him looking at me for so long, but it was just flat out weird when he began to smirk and shake his head in intervals, murmuring to himself with a mouth full of food. If I had told him at home, I would have avoided the creepy stare by waiting before bedtime, so I could escape to my room. At a restaurant, there was no where to really go besides the bathroom, and I hated public restrooms, not because I was gay, but because they were dirty.