Chances

Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Nineteen: Realizations 

"There is a time for risky love. There is a time for extravagant gestures. There is a time to pour out your affections on one you love. And when the time comes - seize it, don't miss it." -Max Lucado.

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 Alex did not sit by me at dinner. Bruce and Steve sat next to him as Tony sat across, leaving me to sit diagonally across from him. Alex did not appear mad at me, for he did talk to me and not blow me off. Despite this, something was still off about him. He was much quieter than usual; many times I'd notice Alex lost in thought. The expression on his face suggested that he was having an internal battle with himself, for never have I seen such an expression of deep thoughtfulness. A few times Doctor Banner had to nudge my friend to get his attention.

 I feel the abnormality of Alex's emotions weighing down on my shoulders, causing me to fret. I have only seen Alex depressed once, when his grandfather died. He means so much to me that it kills me to see him hurting especially for a reason I do not know. I didn't get a chance to talk to Alex; he disappeared right after dinner. Now as I am free from any responsibilities I seek him out so I can ensure that he is okay. I checked his room but he was not there.

 "Do you know where Alex is?" I poke my head into the lab.

 "Nope," Doctor Banner replies, "When you find him, you might wanna talk to him. Something seemed off about him earlier."

 "Yeah, that's why I'm trying to find him," I sigh heavily before exiting the room.

 I decide to circle the helicarrier's floors. It's not long before I run into Agent Barton hobbling down the hallway on his crutches, "Have you seen Alex?"

 "Is he that one kid that came up here with you?" He asks as I nod, "Nope, sorry. I'm heading up to the infirmary and I'll send him your way if I see him."

 "Thank you. How is your leg doing?" I take a moment to inquire about his well-being.

 "It's healing. Only hindering me now, but I'll be fine," Clint's lip twitches upwards in disgust as he looks down at the bandaged calf.

 Agent Barton and I bid farewells and part ways. "Lucis, where is Alex?" I remember the little earpiece in my ear.

 "He is outside, on the upper deck of the helicarrier, ma'am."

 With this new information, I find myself going there. I heave open the heavy exterior door and am greeted by the cerulean haze of twilight. The air is chilly but refreshing as the moon rises to signify the end of the day. After a brief scan over the helicarrier, I find Alex sitting on the ledge of the top deck over the bottom deck. I walk soundlessly across the spacious deck behind him.

 "Hey," I sit down next to him.

 "Oh, hey," Alex looks at me briefly before looking back out at the rising moon.

 "What's on your mind?" I inquire as I bump against him playfully.

 "Nothing," He answers abruptly.

 "Didn't look like that at dinner," I chuckle softly, "Come on, what's bothering you?"         

 "Seriously, Mon, don't worry about it," Alex sighs.

 "Alex-"

 "It's nothing really. You wouldn't understand and it's selfish of me."

 "Is it something I did?"

 "No... Well, not directly. It's complicated to understand."

 "Talk to me, try to make me understand. Whatever it is I won't judge you for it."