39. The Only One He Feared

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"Pain pain go away, come back another day," ~ Where do We Go When We Go, Neck Deep

"No, no she's not gone!" I yell. 

I can't believe it -- I won't. I fight Remus with every ounce of strength I have left as Sirius drags a grief-stricken Harry over. Remus doesn't understand; Tay said she'd be with us until the end, we were going to do a season in the Hollyhead Harpies together. She's fine, it's just a scratch...

"It's my fault," I hear Harry cry, breathless. "She -- she pushed me -- I -- "

"TAY!" I bellow. "TAYLOR!"

"She can't come back, Haylee," Remus says his voice breaking as he struggles to contain me, "because she's de -- "

"No, she's not!" I sob. "She's not, she's not!"

There is movement going on around us, pointless bustling, the flashes of more spells. It's meaningless noise, the flashes of curses going past our heads matter, nothing matters until Remus stops pretending Tay is dead. She'll sit up any moment, a little worse for wear, but with a signature grin on her face. 

Remus drags me further away, and I stare at Tay's unmoving body, waiting. But nothing happens. She remains as still as ever, eyes open staring into nothing, despite how loud her father screams. 

Some part of me realises, even as I fight to break free from Remus, that this isn't in Tay's nature. She'd recognise the agony in those around her and brush off her injuries, she wouldn't want to worry us...if Tay refuses to wake up, even with all the screaming, then the only possible explanation is that she's not waking up...she really is --

Dumbledore has most of the remaining Death Eaters grouped in the middle of the room, seemingly immobilised by invisible ropes; Mad-Eye Moody has crawled across the room to where Tonks lays and is attempting to revive her; behind the dais there are still flashes of light, grunts and cries--Mr Saunters, filled with a terrifying rage, is now battling Bellatrix in Sirius' stead. Dad has slowly pulled himself off the ground, looking pained and erratic, and joins in the effort to keep Harry and I mobilised. We've stopped struggling now, but they keep precautionary hands on us nonetheless. 

"Harry? Haylee?"

Neville has slid down the stone benches one by one to where we're standing, his cheeks stained with tears. 

"T-Tay..." he stutters hopelessly, his legs still dancing uncontrollably. He opens and closes his mouth a few times, seemingly unable to find the words. But I prefer he stays silent, talking makes it real. 

"Here," Remus says quietly, pointing his wand at Neville's legs. "Finite." The spell is lifted, and Neville's legs fall back to the floor and remain still.

Lupin, Dad, and Sirius all look very pale; they shoot each other knowing glances, and then Dad nods. 

"Okay, let's - let's find the others," he says shakily, his voice hoarse. "Where are they all, Neville?"

He turns away from the archway, sounding as if every word is causing him pain. 

"Dey're all back dere," says Neville. "A brain addacked Ron bud I dink he's all righd--and Herbione's unconscious, bud we could feel a bulse--"

There is a loud bang and a yell from behind the dais. I see Mr Saunters hit the ground yelling in pain: Bellatrix Lestrange turns tail and runs as Dumbledore whips around. He aims a spell at her but she deflects it; she is halfway up the steps now --   

"Haylee - Harry -- no!" Remus cries. 

"Don't!" Sirius shouts. 

"HAYLEE! HARRY!" Dad's anguish almost makes me turn around, but I rip myself from their grip nonetheless, Harry at my side.

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