That just made me feel horrible for the rest of the day and was glad I didn’t have to walk home, I was silent all afternoon hiding upstairs in my domain until dinner time and I had to come downstairs. Lily noticed my silence but didn't say anything she probably knew I wouldn't tell her what happened, "how was school today" she asks, or not.
"fine" i say simply "and can I warn you now that I don’t plan on going to school tomorrow"
"why? what happened?" she asks
"nothing" i say "I just don’t like school"
"there must be a reason Cayden" she says
"because its boring" I snap standing up "because I don't want to be wondering who's watching me the whole time I'm there! Because I don’t want to make friends and lose them again!" Lily looks up at me and sighs "I know this is hard Cayden"
"no you don't! you have no idea how hard this is! You've never lost that many loved ones in one night!" I shouted my anger just building after each word "I just want the pain to stop!" she looked at me sympathetically but that just annoyed me more, as I left the room I kicked over my chair. In my room my anger hadn't ebbed away yet and that’s probably why I trashed my room, after everything was everywhere, I sat on my cupboard which lay vertically on the ground. I couldn’t sleep that night, I was thinking to much and my mind wouldn’t allow me to rest but my body must have given up at some point because the next morning I realized I was asleep. 13
I opened my eyes and looked at the clock that was on the ground, 9 o'clock Lily must be letting me stay home today, I spent an hour fixing up my room and cleaning up the broken glass of water I threw at the wall. I lay on my bed thinking, a lot of teenagers always think, the world hates them most and that the world has something against them, I always used to think they were exaggerating. maybe we had past lives and if you did bad things in that life you were condemned to an equally bad next life, maybe I'm just going crazy, but if it were true it makes me curious about what terrible things I could have possibly done in my past life to deserve this, or maybe I'm just full of stupid ideas, like not trusting my gut instinct and many other stupid ideas that could have prevented what happened. 14
Later that afternoon there was a knock at the door I got up and looked out the window but I couldn’t see the door at this angle they continued to knock so I went downstairs and opened the door, Taylor stood there, she didn’t look happy to be standing at my door, but there she was, I blinked a few times stunned she was there "why are you here?" I ask
"we have a performance task for music remember" she says
"i thought you hated me" I say confused
"i do hate you" she says "but there's no one else to pair up with and I'm not losing marks just because you’re a dick head"
"and you thought you could just knock on my door and hope I co-operate?" I ask
"i could always try using persuasion if you like" she says sweetly
"I'd like to see you try" I say, of course I instantly regretted my choice of words as she punched me in the face, jeez she can hit hard. Naturally I let her inside and agreed to co-operate, I led her to the lounge room where the piano was "so what song did you have in mind" I ask
"well i was hoping you could do the piano part to viva la Vida" she says quietly, wow she is good at changing moods she's gone all shy on me again "the song by Coldplay?" I ask
"yeah"
"i think I know how to play it" I say sitting at the piano, this was actually a lie I didn’t think I could play it I knew I could play it, I started to play the song perfectly, she smiles "good because I find it hard to play and sing at the same time" she says
"i thought girls could multi-task" I say
"i can with most things just not playing and singing" she says. We practiced the song about three times before lily got home and looked at us gobsmacked, I look over at her and grin "hi lily"
"hi, who's this?" she asks
"this is Taylor we have a performance task for music" I explain, she nods this seemed to make more sense to her than me having a friend over "its nice to meet you Taylor" she says
"its nice to meet you too" she says quietly
"if you need anything I'll be in the kitchen" Lily says before leaving the room
"is that your sister or something?" Taylor asks
"no" i say
"well she's too young to be your mum" she says, she was nearing a very dangerous subject
"that's because she's not my mother" she must have sensed my change in mood because she went silent, I sigh "my parents are dead, lily is my legal guardian"
"oh" was all she said, she seemed unsure of what to say
"lets just practice this assignment" I say but I wasn’t in the mood to do it anymore, even though I now had my back to her I could sense that she was giving me a sympathetic look and as always it annoyed me "can you not look at me like that" I say, she sat down on the piano bench next to me
"why not?" she asks
"because sympathy is utterly useless and honestly its just annoying" I say
"would you prefer that people didn’t care enough to give you sympathy?" she asks
"I don't want nor do I need people to care for me I'm perfectly fine by myself" I say
"are you really" she questions me, it almost made me question myself but only almost
"yes" i say.
