Remembering Your Face

Remembering Your Face - Chapter 2

Sky

Great. I knew I'd arrive super late to the concert. I couldn't hate my parents any more right now. I tried not to think too hard about all the arguing and yelling and the horrid insults thrown back and forth. They were impossible. My mum was telling me how big a disappoint me I've become over the years and Dad was on the side saying that I don't deserve anything I have right now. I'm a disgrace. I'm wasting time. I never do anything. I don't do anything right. I could handle being called a bitch by everyone at school, but hearing it come out of my mum's mouth -- it punches me hard. I've called her my share of names, but I only retaliate because I can't stand letting her think she's won and that her words get to me.

 It's not my doing that our family is so dysfunctional. It's not my fault I can't be perfect and flawless like my younger sister is. I'm just sorry that they had me. I see the disapproving looks in their eyes, how they scrutinize me over constantly, every shake of their heads, all the muttered "Where did we go wrong?s”.  

 I know they hate me. They can't stand me at all. Even when I do my best to avoid them at all costs - even when I'm always locked up inside my room, never coming out unless I have to pee or grab something to eat.

Today was an argument unlike any other.

 "Now we realize it's this band you listen to that makes you act up like you do. It corrupts you. You were so good until this past year, Nevaeh!  You were in AP and Honor classes already in your Freshman year, you would have been on scholarships and grants now if your grade point average hadn’t dropped so much like it did. You went from a 3.92 to a 2.07.” my mother had exclaimed, following me wherever I walked to around the house, and my father was just sitting at the dining room table, watching stonily as I was being grilled, waiting for a good moment when my mother pauses to mull more words into her next verbal attack.

I couldn’t be left alone for shit.  I wanted to turn around and scream at my parents but that would probably earn me getting struck in the face.  My heart was pounding with anxiety and my eyes pricked with tears that had suddenly flooded in my eyes.  I was very glad my little sister wasn’t home to witness or hear the heated argument going on at home.  She was off somewhere at a friend’s, invited to a sleepover.  I got a little angrier inside because she was able to have all these privileges and this freedom when I couldn’t even keep a cell phone. 

I was making my way out the door after I grabbed my Pokemon lanyard with my ID and house keys hanging from it when my father gets in my way. I stopped and looked at him, expecting him to move out of the way. I just didn't really want to verablly tell him to move because I knew if I opened my mouth, my voice would come out raised and angry, and I did not want either of my parents to start another argument about my "attitude" and "disrespect". 

My father met my eyes as he crossed his arms authoritatively over his chest. My father was always an aggressive and tough-looking man that didn't really take any joke about anything, ever. You could see by looking at his face that he seldom ever cracks a smile or grin for anything.

"Where the hell are you headed to?" he said evenly, cocking one of his sharp eyebrows at me.

A fluttery sensation bloomed inside my chest. My palms started to get sweaty so I fisted my hands at my sides. I meet the narrowed dark brown eyes that I inherited. I felt my face grow warm. My face flushed whenever I was angry or upset, and right now I was definitely angsty right now.

"I'm off to go to the concert, remember? I told you and Mom when and where and to what time I'll be there and who I'm going with" I replied. I was only lying about the Who I'm Going With part really. I was going with my boyfriend AJ, whom my parents had no intelligence of. They've never known anything about life relationship-wise. I've had different guys before, not trying to make myself sound like a slut or anything. I fall out of relationships fast. But AJ, it's been different. He's been my longest relationship, as we're going on nearly 8 months together. I really did love him. And I've done such a good job of sustaining a stable relationship with the guy and hiding from my parents at the same time. I didn't realize I was smiling until my father snapped me out of my reverie.