Camila

Just a voice

In which you have psycosis and have Camila is one of your hallucinations. Let's see where this goes.

"Hey." I heard a familiar voice as I walked into my house

"Camila, you've been in my head all day." I sighed

Camila is just a voice in my head. She's a figment of my mind that wants to think that someone could ever love me as much as I love them. I've had this voice for a while.

I call her the ghost of love. As in my love life is dead, ha.

But she hasn't always looked like this cuban girl. She usually looks like any girl I'm interested in.

The real Camila is The Camila Cabello who is really famous and is living her dream.

The one in my head is more concerned about me than anyone else.

She claims to be from the future, something about how she 'needs to watch me' because I'm 'going to become suicidal'.

Little does she know.

But Camila is different from the others. With the others, usually one scenario happened, a bunch of times. Like with my first one, I was famous and on stage. Then the few after were just cuddly. But I have actual conversations with Camila.

"Y/N? Are you okay?" She asked

"Fine." I smiled at nothing

I sat down on my couch and soon I felt as if someone was sitting on my lap.

"No, Camila." I warned

She does this thing where she kisses me and I basically bow down to her for a long time after. Her kisses are a spell.

I can actually feel her though too. When we touch, I get a nice feeling in my whole body. When she kisses me though, my lips tingle.

I felt hands caress my face and soon my lips felt cool. I couldn't help but to close my eyes and give into the feeling.

I smiled and the feeling was gone, replaced by the feeling of warmth on my body. She must be cuddled up on me.

My heart feels happy, but my head is screaming and saying that I shouldn't do this.

"Mila, I can't."

"Shh." She said as I slowly felt my body relax

"How was your day?" She asked as if she wasn't talking to me the whole time

"It was a day." I said emotionless

I don't like saying if my day was good or bad. A day can have a series of events that are equally good and bad, so why choose one?

"Y/N, stop." Camila pouted

She can also read my mind, which I great. Especially because my mind is racing, mostly me being in denial about her existing.

But today I'm suicidal. She knows too.

"No, I hate life and you know it." I spat

"You need to stay alive. You have a purpose." I felt my hands grow warm as she held them

She isn't real, I have to remember.

"How about this, prove to me that you're real." I laughed lowly "Then I will keep living."

"You know I can't, Y/N." She sighed

Oops. I got up off of where I sat and began to write my letter so that when I'm found, no one will make the effort of investigations.

"Please dont." I heard a cry

"You aren't real, why should you care."

"Wait here." She said and suddenly dissapeared

"Camila?" I called out loudly

Just wait.

That wasn't a voice, it was a thought. I wonder what that means.

My phone buzzed minutes later. This isn't real. It can't be.

Unknown number: Hey I know this is insane but a voice who sounds like me just randomly told me to text you at this number.

Me: Okay, who are you?

Unknown: I've been told I can trust you, I hope so.

Unknown: I'm Camila Cabello

Me: No, you aren't. I have psycosis and that girl is a hallucination of Camila. She's been following me for months. You're just a new delusion.

Unknown: No, don't go. She told me you'd do this, and that if I let you go, you wouldn't ever come back.

*FaceTime request*

I rolled my eyes and accepted it.

"Hey, Y/N." I was met by a sleepy Camila Cabello

"You can't be real." A tear fell down my cheek "You're just a hallucination."

I ended the call and layed down onto my bed, slowly drifting off to sleep.

I woke up to a pounding on my door. What the hell, who could that be?

The knocking only got worse as I yelled at whoever it was to fuck off.

"Get up, Y/N." Camila appeared "I told her about you. She has seen you around too. But now she's here for you, she loves you. Go. Get. The. Door."

I sighed angrily and walked to the door as the pounding continued. I opened it to reveal Camila Cabello. Shit.

Her eyes widened and her face showed so many emotions.

"I- I can't believe you're real." She cried "I've been hearing this voice for months until I heard my own telling me to text you and then come here."

I stood there speechless, not being able to think or speak.

This isn't real. It can't be.

Camila, the alleged real one, wrapped her arms around me.

"I'm real. I'm not transparent at all, right? That's how you know." She assured me

She isn't transparent, maybe she's right.

"We've kissed before, well, versions of us kissed us?" She laughed adorably "It always felt cold and tingly. So let me prove I'm real."

Camila glanced from my eyes to my lips as I gulped.

"How do I know that this isn't another trap?" I asked hesitantly

"I'm different. I'm real."

With those words, I leaned in and our lips met.

Camila deepened the kiss as a sensation of warmth filled my whole body, and instead of the tingling, there is comfort and happiness.

I smiled breaking the kiss.

"You're real."
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WOW THIS IS SHIT.

I wanted to write this tho, bc if anyone knows what this is, falling in love with a hallucination, I'd like to know bc I've had this as long as I can remember. Not always Camila though, it started with my first crush and now I'm here lmao.

YES, I've been professionally diagnosed with psycosis but I've never told anyone about the love one. Soooo don't think I'm self-diagnosing bc I'm not lmao.