Twice in a Lifetime (Zayn Malik)

Chapter 94. Finally.

Chapter 94.

I Don't Want to Fight - Westlife

May I - Trading Yesterday

More Than This - One Direction

Finally - Fergie

Mia's POV

"Can I come in for abit?"

I peered out from the screen from my phone and saw Zayn standing in my doorway. I hadn't even realized he opened it. I was too busy searching through Google on Wali's colon diagnosis.

"Uh, yeah," I pulled myself up on my elbows then hands so that I could sit up. "What are you still doing up? It's past two in the morning."

"I can't sleep," he casually replied.

Can't sleep? Was he having nightmares again?

The thought saddened me.

Despite the way he acted towards me earlier, my weak heart gave in to the vulnerable man child by my bedroom door.

"Is it alright if I sit here?" He pointed to the edge of the bed.

"Yeah."

No. The close distance would make me uneasy, especially since we were in close proximity of a bed.

"What were you looking at on your phone" he gestured to my phone on the bed. "You looked very .. focused?"

"Oh, um, just looking through some stuff," I said and quickly changed the subject. "How about you? Did you have another bad dream?" He nodded his head and my heart sank. Not another one. "What was it this time?" I asked, crossing my arms.

"I'd rather not elaborate," he told me and I decided not to push it. He had enough on his plate and pressuring him to tell me would only add onto the platter. "Mia, I'm sorry for being a jerk before," he said after a long minute. "I'm just very.."

"I know," I interrupted him. "You're worried about your sister. You're stressed and you're not in your right mind. I understand how you feel."

He turned his head to look at me, his relieved smile sending little flutters in my stomach.

"Still, I shouldn't have talked like such a smartass."

"No, you shouldn't have," I chuckled slightly. He was acting overly witty. "Zayn," I called him as he looked away to his hands on his lap. "Why did you tell me that you took the money?"

He thought for a second before understanding what I was referring to.

"I don't know," he shook his head. "I was just .. Mad. At you. And at me."

"At yourself?"

"You, of all people, should know why I'm mad at myself. If I hadn't," he stopped mid-sentence. He fixed his position on the bed, lifting his legs up so that they laid straight across next to mine which were underneath the duvet. "If I hadn't done what I did, we would be in such a better place." I stayed quiet, unsure if I should disagree or agree with him. "How does it feel to lose someone, Mia?"

"What?"

"How does it feel like to lose someone?" He repeated the question for me, although I heard it clearly the first time.

"Zayn, you're not going to lose Wali," I assured him. "She's going to make it."

"Yeah, but what if she doesn't. You know, I wanna be prepared. I wanna be ready."

"You can't be ready for something like this," I answered him truthfully, my mind wandering back to how my mum passed in the middle of the night and I didn't even know it. "It just happens, and we have to make our peace with it. We have to be strong, we have to fight through. It's hard to find acceptance but life has to go on."