Start Of A New Journey

Prologue

 I'm still not used to this whole being away from home thing. It was my first year of college, and to say I was nervous was an understatement. I've always been a shy girl, somewhat....at least until you get to know me. I'm also sort of an introvert, so it's hard for me to even function is heavy social settings. Which is probably why I chose to attend a small school. I was majoring in psychology, and before I even came to school that I would definitely be more focused.

I had already made a few friends, or associates thanks to social media, so I was not going to be as lonely or bored on campus.

 I guess somewhere down the line, somewhere between getting high every weekend, and spending the night with which ever boyfriend, I ending up losing myself, but finding myself at the same time. Maybe it's the crowd I was hanging around, or maybe it was just me getting fed up with the bullshit and harsh realities that life is handing to me.  

 Don't get me wrong, I'm far from one of those girls that got turned out, and abandoned responsibilities. But I did however, make a few mistakes that I could have avoided, and looking back I know that I knew better. 

  Let's start with me ending my relationship with someone that I considered my best friend, my high school sweetheart and all of the above. We had been together all throughout high school, and we were now making it through college, or so I thought. We had been through all together. From me taking him into my home after being kicked out, me paying for his sports equipment, giving him money that he gave his mom to help pay bills, from him switching up on me and having sex with someone that I considered my best friend. It doesn't stop there, it's safe to say we were extremely toxic for each other. I think the fact that I was so attached to him, I didn't want to let him go, so I put up with a lot of shit from him. I gave him a piece of me i'll never get back. I let him turn me into a cold-heart bitch, and because of him, I'll probably never take relationships serious. 

 Long story short, I got fed up, and could not take the hurt anymore, and we ending up calling things off by the end of our freshman year of college. Since then, I've racked up body counts, I've been dogging dudes and females, in general I just have not been taking anything serious. I know not all guys are bad, but I just can't let myself get hurt again. 

  Fast forward to me getting out of my comfort zone, going to parties, smoking more, having threesomes, screwing one of the older guys, almost seducing one of the girls on campus. I've been wilding out as most people would say, I'm really just trying to find myself.