Price of Freedom

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There we stood,
Hang in hand,
The cold air biting our skin.
I'm afraid
I whispered, and my voice broke
I looked at you,
But you only smiled,
And lifted your face to the stars.
I'm not.
You sounded so strong,
So confident,
Who would have thought
you were broken.
You let go of my hand,
And fell away from me,
Into the inky darkness of
unknowing.

W A K E   U P
My mind screamed,
And I was screaming,
Trapped in my sheets.
When I finally escaped
to the cold floor,
I breathed heavily
The tears flowing down my cheeks,
Onto the floor,
Until the familiarity of pain
Lured me to sleep.

F O R G E T
They told me,
You can't move on
If these memories are
tying you down.

P R E T E N D
I learned it well,
Until their questions ceased,
And the stopped giving me
Sideways looks and pitying whispers.

M O V E  O N
It is so hard.
But what other
Choice do I have,
When I am not as brave as you?

F I G H T
That's what they
told me to do.
But I'm so tired,
And I just want to sleep.

R U N
From the pain,
From the past,
From you.
But I can't escape.

R U N
From the whispers,
The prying eyes,
The criticism.
But they follow me.

W A K E  U P
It is just a dream,
You are in control,
I tried to convince myself,
Now I'm drowning in lies.

I'm afraid.

Why can't I be strong like you
Why does the past call to me
Why can't I escape

It's as if that day,
Standing in the cold,
You never truly let go
Of my hand,
And since that day,
You have been tugging me
down with you.

I'm not.

What choice do I have,
But to let you pull me down
Then, we can experience
That blissful unknowing together,
And I can be free from the pain,
But never free from you.

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