Wicked Hunger

Wicked Hunger Chapter 20

Chapter 20

Fragments of Agony

Given that I get to see Ivy more often now, sneaking into her room at night shouldn’t be something I still do. Since meeting her, I find myself doing all kinds of things I shouldn’t. A quiet step over the window sill brings me into her room. She’s sound asleep. My mouth turns up as I see that she’s facing me this time. It’s better if she’s not, but I love seeing her beautiful face too much to really care. Slipping into the chair next to her bed brings me within a few feet of her. I take in the scent of her body, soap, sweat, and lotion. The blend is something I would recognize anywhere.

I don’t come to her house every night. If I see her during the day, I force myself to be happy with that. When I don’t see her, it’s impossible for me to resist. Sundays are the hardest because she never calls me to talk, doesn’t text me, and can’t hang out. After a week of getting tastes of her, it feels like coming off an addiction so intense I know I’ll never make it if I don’t get another fix.

I saw her every day this week at least for a few minutes, so this is the first time I’ve been to her room since last Sunday. Being with her at school and after my games is an equally enslaving mixture of torture and desire. It kills me to be with her, but I want the pain more than anything.

I know I’m seriously messed up, heading down the path that led Oscar to his current living arrangements, but sitting beside her at night helps me keep things balanced. On nights like this, I can be near her without rousing my hunger too much. It gives me the only semi-peaceful time I ever have with her, and it’s something I can carry in the back of my mind to keep myself stable when we’re face to face, clearly alive and awake.

Ivy’s late night hours make not falling asleep here difficult, though. It was one-thirty before I could risk climbing through her window. Sparring with Van this afternoon isn’t helping me stay awake. Soundlessly, I move the chair closer to her bed. My hand reaches out to hover over her for a brief moment. I want to touch her, but I would feel the warmth of her body, and tricking my hunger into thinking she is dead will become so much harder. Her eyes flutter—making my heart stop—then close again. I let out a breath and retract my hand.

I think I am safe now, but the sudden blaring of a car alarm snaps Ivy’s eyes open. I’m fast, but I’m not that fast. Her bleary eyes seem to catch sight of something, widening and activating a warning siren in her mind, though devoid of recognition just yet. My mind is frozen. I watch, immovable, as her hand whips under her pillow. She pulls her hand back out and her body follows the path, ending in a kneeling position with the knife glinting in the moonlight. Her eyes finally see me.

“Zander?”

Speaking and thinking are not likely functions for me, at the moment. She has a knife at my neck, but there are only two thoughts completely unrelated to the blade running through my mind right now. The first one is that her tight fitting tank top and petite pajama shorts show off her toned body perfectly. The muscles of her abdomen are tight and quivering under her skin. I want to run my fingers over them.

The second coherent thought stops me from doing just that. Pain doesn’t always accompany fear, but the precursor tastes like a gourmet appetizer to my hunger. Fear makes the pain more delectable the higher it climbs. Her racing heart, rapid breathing, and warm body have set my hunger ablaze. Like a twig snapping, it takes over completely. My refusal to listen to its desire is shoved away, and I watch in horror as my hands spring forward to grab her.

Ivy scrambles off the bed, knocking over a lamp in her panicked hurry. It crashes to the floor. The stained glass shade shatters. The movement and sound pauses me for a precious moment, but then the tang of blood hits me. I don’t run or lurch forward. I’m not Van. Ivy’s eyes widen as my legs carry me forward in a stalking, unstoppable gait. Each step is quicker than the last, more determined to bring me close enough to shatter her into fragments of agony.