Summer one
It was the summer after high school, we chased Johnny walker
Till we couldn't walk in a straight line,
The taste of bourbon and rum running chills with every shot,
We were young,
Then summer passed and it got colder,
We left our parents to search for our futures and found our presents needing old friends,
Those cold winters when the taste of whiskey was still foreign and love was still a beautiful thing,
So we fell and we fell hard,
Seasons came, winter left, but we remained cold, needing the cuddles of our former friends turned vices,
We chase them no more, they give us chills no more, scorched livers and sooted lungs, we live harmoniously with our vices,
Afflicted by memories of that summer.
Winter one
In the end, after living through the dream and exhausting my teen elixir, and draining my spirit,
My life was handed to me and I could not decide,
Summer was over, my friends went to school but I knew nothing,
I was a toddler asked to run,
I had, before had crutches, my life had been a collection of others' ideas and interests, motivated by nothing, unaware of self, questions lingered as the journey unraveled,
A long road, no destination in mind, currently located in a tangled mess of what was their idea of me.
I had played along till this game became my life, a caricature, a canvas for anyones brush, suggestive and susceptible to manipulation.
I woke up in strange places, mind discombobulated, shoes lost in the snow, i'd chased strobelights in your city looking for the next cheap thrill amidst sweaty bodies,
The cold seeping into my skin, burning through me almost to frost bite, I'd regret it then tomorrow we do it again. That winter I found solace in the ice, I was numb to it all,
huffing and puffing through wood pipes unafraid of consequence, inhaling as much and as fast as possible, I spent days in mask shops,
Finest garments to hide the gaping hole where my heart used to be,
In the quest to erase the memories we shared, cheap thrills ensued,
dressed in the finest linens money could buy, I'd shed simplicity and soul for complexity and shallowness, I felt nothing.
This nothingness I'd been chasing was as unsatisfying as promised, I lost touch with God and my conscience, yet the days moved along, short as they were, nights came, I slept for hours but could never get enough,
One by one my friends disappeared and I was in solitary confinement,
No new friends were welcome,
This was what I'd yearned for after summer one.
Spring one
The sun rise wasnt happy time,
Mary we went round, and round for rounds till I drowned, I don't remember the birds singing,
Early Mornings dazed in deep thought,
I suppressed my ego the more i was in mind solitary,
I don't remember butterflies flattering mother nature, eyes squinted at the disgust of the final hint of darkness, my corner in the dark exposed, forced to exercise my right to exist.
I lived in distant galaxies and freed my mind to new possibilities, explored the beauty of insignificance and fell in love,
I saw a couple of flowers this summer,
Found the five hour energy late night,
Drove to nowhere, right after work,
Like clockwork, days came and went, nights came and I reveled, empty streets, me, mary and soul food,
I was free from chaos, I was free from the world, a pervasive feeling that gave me peace in my own universe.
Colored with beautiful medicine, took a break to mend my heart, but ended up on a journey through the intricacies of y own mind,.
I saw flowers today, I yearned for the sun rise and dreaded sleep.
The son of chaos calling my name, I answered the call, flames on me, crash landed on earth, shattering my bones, I could feel my mortality again,
I felt the shards from my heart pierce trough my skin, and I to the pen I went, on the paper I bled.
