Let Me Go

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Tumblr prompt- i saw this video on youtube and i thought youd do a amazing job writing a one shot for it, if you go onto youtube type in ziall horlik let me go  could you make the ending happy like zayn barges in just before nialls about to overdose and niall just cries in zayns arms   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TeGvOqYMdvY <<< the video 

I'm thinking of making this oneshot into a short story with six- ten chapters what do you guys think of that? 

Niall's Pov:

He leaves again. After a night of holding me, Kissing me, Making love to me, He just leaves again. He says he has no choice, Says he has to do what they tell him to, But he promised me. He promised it wouldn't be long, A few months tops, That was two years ago. I love Zayn, I love him so much but he's not mine, Not really anyway. We have to hide, We can't say were together, I can't hold his hand or kiss him in public. I may be the one he says he loves, But it dosen't feel that way to me. It feels like I'm nothing at all, If I was why would he do it? Why would he agree to be with her? Why put me through it? I've gotten good at faking happiness. Once you've faked a hundred smiles I suppose you get good at it. Everybody thinks I'm happy. I'm living the dream why wouldn't I be happy? I have more money in my account then I know what to do with, I couldn't spend it all even if I tried really hard. I have millions of people around the world who love me and want me to be happy, My girls, And of course the boys, Louis, Liam and Harry, I know I can always call them and they'll be there, They'll do whatever they can to make me feel better. I have so many people around me, Yet I still feel so alone all the time, I'm depressed and everyday is a never ending struggle. It shouldn't be this way. 

The special nights Zayn and I shared it used to mean everything to me. We'd have dinner, Place loads of blankets on the couch, Snuggle together and watch a film. He'd whispered sweet things into my ear, Making me blush a deep shade of pink, Those memories used to mean the whole world to me, Now they mean nothing. They mean nothing because we rarely ever do it, And when we do it's because he's trying to make it up to me. When we used to sleep together it used to be all about our love, Now once were done he'll get up and leave because he has to go be with her. Every morning I'll wake up and he'll be gone leaving another hole in my heart.

I sighed as yet another gossip channel on the TV spoke about them. Pictures of them filled the screen, Pictures of them holding hands, Kissing, Smiling at eachother. The people on the TV were saying how cute they are together, How there the most searched up couple.

"You know he'd rather be with you Niall" Harry said softly, I sighed. 

"Then why isin't he?" I asked, Harry went to open his mouth but closed it once again. "It's alright, I'm fine with it, I'm just tired that's all" I mumbled, Harry nodded his head before standing up. 

"I'll let you sleep, See you later Nialler" Harry gave me a tight hug before walking out the sitting room, I didn't bother saying goodbye to him, I was to busy staring at the TV, New pictures of Zayn and Perrie had been released, Pictures of them on a private date, I chuckled to myself.

"Private my ass" I mumbled before turning off the TV, I then made my way into the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror. I hate what I am, I hate what I've let happen to me. I pulled down my razor and then I pulled up my sleeve. A sigh of relief fell from my lips as I slid the razor across my wrist, A fresh cut formed and blood began to trickle down my skin.

It'll never end. They'll always be some new idea, Zayn he'll never say no, He's got to much of a soft heart for that. We were supposed to spend the whole week together, She was at tour rehearsals, It was supposed to be just me and him. Two days, I got him alone for two days, But then he went. I drove to the shop to pick us up some food and drink for dinner that night, When I came back he was gone, A note was left behind.

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