Goalie For My Heart

Life's A Bitch...Then it Ends

     I felt my head bop up and down as I hummed to the song my Ipod was playing.

I try to make it through my life, in my way, there's you

I try to make it through these lies, and that's all I do

Just don't deny it,

Don't try to fight this ,and deal with it

and that's just part of it,

If you were dead or still alive

I don't care, I don't care

Just go and leave this all behind

Cause I swear I swear,I don't care

I try to make you see my side

Always trying to stay in line

But your eyes see right through

That's all they do

I'm getting buried in this place

I got no room your in my face

don't say anything just go away

If you were dead or still alive

I don't care, I don't care

Just go and leave this all behind

Cause I swear I swear, I don't care

     I hummed to Apocalyptica's I Don't Care as I sat propped up on my bed flipping through a magazine.I nodded my head to the beat as I felt my ears already accustomed to the glass shattering volume. I felt my hand move up in an act of defense as I felt my earphones get pulled out of my ears as the intruder groaned in pain at my agressive punch. My eyes darted up ready to yell when I came to sight with my brother whining on the floor clutching his nose.

"What the hell Cammie,'' whined putting his hand to his nose trying to cover the blood.

"What's going on in here,did Stuart get a job yet,"my mother joked laughing but quickly stopped at the sight of her eldest son on the floor whining and her daughter shaking her hand in the air flexing her fingers.

"Muscle spasm," I muttered going back to my magazine.

I felt the magazine rip out of my hand abruptly as I sighed looking up to see my mother glaring at me her eyes glistening with tears. Not again,I thought rolling my eyes.If anyone should be crying it should be me.

"First the cursing,then the smoking,the alchol,the music,the late nights,the arrests, and street fighting," my mother said ticking her fingers with obvious sadness and anger. I ignored her trying to forget why I turned to all those things in the first place.

"Sweetheart,we lost him two years ago,you have to get over it,"my mother said softly but still firmly. But I wasn't paying attention,I was still stuck on something she'd said early.

"You know what I never understand,'I said coldly as I grabbed a ball of rubber bands from my nightstand flexing them in my fingers rolling them around.

"You say we lost him...but if he's lost then why can't I find him,"I said chuckling humorlessly as I rolled the rubber in my hands concentrating intensly as I felt my eyes burn with unshed tears. I looked up to see my mother as I realised my brother had risen up in the midst of my talking and was sitting on my desk his hands clutching his hair painfully,he always did like Luke.