Ashton rocked into me again, gripping the sheets by my side as pleasure took over his senses. I dragged my fingernails down his back as he went deeper, losing control of his rhythm. Sweat began to shine on our skin, making it easier for our bodies to slide against each other. “Oh my God!” Ashton groaned above me, making me crave to hear him moan again. I clamped my thighs tight against his hips, my high coming even closer. “Ashton, faster..” I breathed making him pump into me quicker. My whole body felt warm, tingly as my breaths quickened. I moaned in response to my nearing orgasm. “Yes! Ashton!” I cried…
"Ashton!" I yelled, jolting up in bed. Sweat dripped down my forehead, stinging my eyes as it came into contact. Footsteps pounded down the hall. "Y/N are you okay!?" Y/B/F/N puffed as she burst through my door, worry lighting up her eyes. I wiped the droplets off my face with my wrist, before looking at the slick, gloss covering my skin. "Uh.. yeah. Yeah I’m fine." I frowned, not meeting Y/B/F/N’s eyes. "Are you sure?" She asked, still worried about me. My heart still pounded hard against my chest, the memory from two years ago now haunting my dreams. "Yeah I’m sure." I fake-smiled, looking at Y/B/F/N with the most confident look I could give. "Okay then." Just as she began shutting the door, she stopped, frowning while coming back in. "Why did you yell Ashton’s name?" My face completely drained of colour as my brain scrambled for a lie. "Uh. I uh.. I dreamt that Ashton was in trouble and I was too late to save him." I lied, shrugging as innocently as I could. Y/B/F/N nodded and smiled at me, shutting the door behind her as she left. I slammed myself into my pillows, frustrated with my nightmare. The secret I’ve kept for two years has returned and was haunting my dreams now. So many emotions overwhelmed me that they felt like one, large, indescribable heap of hurt and my chest felt heavy. I couldn’t decide whether to scream or try to forget about it. But neither of them seemed like they would help so I rolled over, letting my pillow muffle any noises as I sobbed until my throat felt raw.
~~~~
I shoved the jumper into my bag, packing the last of some clothes to take to Y/B/F/N and Ashton’s house. She didn’t want me to be by myself seeing how lonely my apartment was now so she invited me to stay at their place. “Ready Y/N?” Y/B/F/N called from the lounge room. “Almost! Just give me a sec!” I called back, pulling my phone out of my shorts pocket. I scrolled through my contacts list before stopping on my mum’s name. Biting my nails, I hesitated, wondering if I should ask her for advice. She was the only person I could really count on right now so I decided to hit her number. Mum answered on the second ring. “Hello Y/N!” She chirped. “Hey mum.” I said unenthusiastically. “What’s wrong? Mum asked, concerned with my tone. “I need some advice.” I mumbled, playing with the hem of my shirt. “Sure honey. What do you need help with?” Mum sounded so happy and I didn’t want to bring her down but what else could I do? I sighed, looking at the bedroom door before facing the wall again. “It’s about the thing with Ashton.” I crumpled the hem of my shirt in my hand, getting more anxious with every second of silence I received from my mum. After what seemed like an eternity mum finally spoke. “You need to tell her.” I knew that this was what I wanted to do, but now that someone said it out loud it seemed like the worst idea I’d ever heard. “I don’t know if I can.” I whispered, staring down at my feet. “I know you can. You’re so strong.” I could hear the smile in her voice. It made me feel better. “Thanks mum I really—” I began, but mum cut me off. “But I am very disappointed in you firstly, for doing it and secondly for not telling her. It was very awful of you.” My jaw dropped as what she said sunk in, her words poking at my still open wounds. “You know I regret what I did.” I said, my voice trembling, tears forming in my eyes. “I know. But sometimes that’s not good enough.” Mum said before hanging up. What was happening? Now mum was against me? I sobbed once, shocked with the conversation. I couldn’t lose her. Not my mum. “Y/N seriously. Are you ready to go or what?” Y/B/F/N said, her footsteps coming closer to my room. I wiped quickly at my eyes before she came in. “Yeah I’m ready.” I said, rising from the bed to grab my bag. I walked past Y/B/F/N and headed out the front door, eager to get away from the nest of all my problems.
