This World Belongs to Us

16: Kivar

Maybe if people mentioned how religious experiences felt just like being high all the time, Kivar would have given more thought to his beliefs.

To say that Kivar was overwhelmed with emotions was a drastic understatement. Being hit with the knowledge that angels exist, that they are right here in front of him, and that they want to help, was a shit ton of new information to process. He felt terrified and yet unbelievably relaxed. He felt hopeful and anxious. He also felt the effects of heroin withdrawal starting to creep over his body, but that didn't concern him as much anymore.

Kivar barely slept. The bed was incredible, but it didn't make him comfortable. Comfort for him had more to do with knowing where he was, what the situation around him was, and if he would be able to defend himself if necessary. Right now, he was too baffled to feel any form of comfort. Just before the first rays of sunlight hit, he exited his room and wandered downstairs. Liara was asleep on one side of the room. He didn't want to wake her and headed outside through the portal of light.

Instantly, Kivar was struck with the view of an angel. It hovered above the water, engaged in some sort of morning prayer. He turned away and started to walk toward the trees, but the angel must have noticed him. He felt the air behind him getting warmer and turned around to see the angel very close to him.

"Good morning Kivar," said the angel.

Kivar nodded.

"I see you are still having difficulty speaking to us."

He verified this by saying nothing.

"Then perhaps you can just listen," the angel said with a smile. "You are a violent person Kivar. We have seen your actions in the cabin. And beyond that, we can feel the rage burning within you. Does that anger have a source? Have you given any thought to the reasons behind these barbaric desires?"

Kivar tried to listen to the angel's words. He knew he should be paying extremely close attention. If he was ever going to listen to advice, shouldn't the advice be from an angel?

It continued. "God is always willing to listen to repentance. While you may not believe in him, your ability to change is real. You should take some time to figure out why you have these strong negative emotions. That will be the first step to a true recovery. Also, if we wish to find peace, both demons and humans will have to cooperate. We cannot have you attacking the humans on sight when we travel there today."

He cleared his throat. The angel waited patiently.

"I think I already know the source of my anger," said Kivar quietly.

"Tell me."

"It comes from all the complexity of this world. There's always so many opinions to listen to. So many viewpoints on how to live your life. I have studied my ancestry. Ancient blood clan demons that lived in tribal societies. They kept each other safe and survived together. It was such a simple life. I just want things to be simple. When everything gets complex, I start to feel angry," Kivar said, finishing his thought.

He beheld the dazzling smile of the angel. "Complexity can be easy reduced to simplicity. Why don't you tell me a thought you had recently that brought great anger into your mind? I can help you break it down to the basic components, so you can understand yourself better."

Kivar instantly had an example in his mind. He was unsure of whether he wanted to tell anyone this. He didn't share his inner thoughts. But maybe this angel could really help. That's what they're there for. They exist to save us.