The room was quiet apart from the consistent beeping of the machine beside him. The room was cold, stark and sterile; the only aspect claiming my attention was the faded walls with streaks where it had been clean. Although the room appeared to be clean, it felt dirty- it was as if I could almost hear every cry and scream that occurred before we arrived.
My heart began to beat rapidly as I caught a glimpse of the numerous tubes attached to every single part of his body; his olive skin was sickly pale underneath the threatening gaze of the bright light. I still found it hard to watch him lay there, barely moving apart from the soft breaths he would take and still – I would hope that he would wake up.
Every so often he would make a strangled cry from the back of his throat but I had been reassured that it was normal and something many other patients did. I gazed at his dark brown hair which had grown longer which meant that it was now over his ears and a beard had grown despite the numerous times it had been shaved.
I heard footsteps echoing against the marble floors. “There is something uplifting about hearing a string instrument when I’m feeling ragged or harried.”It was Harriet, his sister. She sent me a timid smile as she took a seat which was directly parallel to my own, her delicate hand clasped over his cold limp one. She spoke softly to him; her words strained as she held in her sobs. Her dark hair hung low covering a side of her face, almost like a curtain and her blue eyes were bright with tears threatening to spill out and trail over her tanned skin.
“Daphne,” she hiccupped slightly. “Can we talk outside please?” She rubbed a hand over her face and wiped away a few stray tears that had managed to escape.
I nodded mutely, sparing Lucas a last hopeful glance before I joined her outside of the room making sure to gently close the door even though I knew he wouldn’t be awoken by the sound. Harriett bit her lip as she pushed back a lock of her chocolate brown hair, “We need to talk about Lucas.” She began leading me away from the room but from a distance that I could see the pale wooden door.
“What about him?” I asked curiously.
“Mum, Dad and I have been thinking and well,” she ran a hand through her hair once again and I could see that she was about to deliver bad news by the wary expression etched on her heart shaped face. “We were thinking about Euthanasia.”
“I hope you’re joking.”
“Daphn-”
“Please tell me you’re joking.” I demanded, cutting her off but once I noticed her expression I knew that she was in fact serious.“How dare you? How dare you?” I hissed out, barely able to stop the nostrils flaring from the anger coursing through my body. “What gives you the right to dictate how his life ends?”
“There’s no greater heartache than watching the person you love in pain,” she stated simply. “And as his family we’re going to end his suffering once and for all, it’s been two years Daphne and this is unhealthy for us all!”
Lucas was suffering and no matter what we were going through it was absolutely nothing in comparison the pain he was going through. I had always promised him that no matter what happened I would always fight for him – whether he was there to see it or not.
“He’s my husband!”I chocked out, attempting to blink back the tears. I couldn’t understand what was happening, I couldn’t- no I refused to allow them to do this to him. “This is murder.”
“Daphne, do you really think I want to do this? This is our only alternative and we can’t afford the expenses anymore especially of it isn’t helping him.” I couldn’t breathe as her words registered, playing at the back of my mind constantly.
“And what if it wasn’t legal in this country huh? Would you do it? Would you end his suffering?” I spat out harshly.
I could see the pain and anguish in her eyes as she continued to talking, “It’s happening today.” It felt like she had stabbed me and I could almost feel the blood pouring out of me; like a fresh wound.
“No, no, no!” I exclaimed in disbelief my voice wavering, they wouldn’t have decided this without me – I refused to believe it until I saw the regret on her face as Charlie, her older brother joined her side. He stretched out his hand to pull me into an embrace but I retreated backwards; as if his touch pained and that was exactly what his betrayal had done.
“You all went behind my back?” I felt the tears streaking my cheeks as my gaze sought Charlie’s smoky blue eyes. I felt deceived and the prospect that his family had decided this without me was heart-wrenching and I couldn’t help but let out a strangled cry.
I panicked as I noticed that a few nurses had begun to enter the room. “How could you all go behind my back?” I repeated and didn’t wait for their response as I immediately ran to the room, pushing past people in the hall before I wrenched open the door. “Don’t do it!” I exclaimed, as they were about to pull the plug that was keeping him alive. “Please don’t do it, he’s going to wake up I know it!”
The nurse’s eyes grew wide before she stepped back, her fingers left the plug and I sighed in relief as the monitor continued to beep. “Ma’am, we were told to-”
“Ignore her, just do it.”
Before I could have reacted I was pulled into somebody arms; their arms circled my waist keeping me in place as I yelped. “Stop it! Get off me, Charlie!” Sobs wracked my body, as if I was convulsing yet I didn’t care. The tears began to roll down my cheeks in small waves, a few sticking to my eyelashes whilst the others rolled down my chin. The sobs tore out of my throat as he held on, I could still taste the saltiness from my tears as they continued, like a thunderstorm; each tear hit me excruciatingly, each one physically stabbing me.
The room was quiet apart from the sniffling and sobs tearing out of my throat, but I couldn’t stop. I felt weak as I wiped the tears away from my face. I gasped as I cried harder, acknowledging the fact that I wouldn’t see him again and it was all because of his family; the people I once considered my own were the ones who had hurt me and were now taking him away from me in every sense.
“Lucas!” I sobbed out his name as my knees gave out because they had pulled the plug and the only sound was the beeping indicating another patient had been lost. I gasped chocking on my breath as two words were spoken; and just like that I was hit by pain, as if salt had been spread over my open wound.
“He’s gone.”
