Love in his Lie

Relief

Justin continued to hold on to my shoulders, waving his hand high in the air as his brother slowly made his way back into the flow of traffic and then zipped around a corner out of sight.

With Wes gone, Justin dropped his arms, grabbed his suitcase and bear claws, and then pulled out his cell phone. He trotted over to a bare patch of wall next to our bustling corner on the sidewalk and leaned up against the brick with his eyes cast down and his thumb dancing across the screen. I considered for a moment stepping into the river of pedestrians rushing by us and finding my way back to the bakery, but I still needed to talk to him about the night he proposed. I'd simply have to wait until he finished texting.

Feeling awkward enough as it was, I didn't see a need to stand out in the middle of the crowd, tiptoeing over the edge of the curb to avoid passersby. I waited for a break in the current and darted over to where Justin continued typing with unflinching speed. He didn't so much as glance my way when I took up beside him and reclined against the wall.

After a few deep sighs, Justin broke the silence, though he didn't avert his eyes from his phone.

"Do you remember the engagement?" he asked, his words slow and laborious, as if they might miss his tongue and end up on his fingertips if he spoke too quickly.

"I..." I bit my lip and looked at all the people racing past us. None of them so much as glanced in our direction. For all they cared we were more wall than human at that point and so long as we remained out of their way, they would take no interest in any aspect of our lives, even the most embarrassing ones. "I... I do," I stammered with a sigh. "But I only remember parts of it."

He didn't respond immediately, instead a hand reached up to brush his bottom lip as he debated some sort of response on his screen. His silence somehow muted the rumble of cars, rabble of voices, and thunder of footsteps against the pavement. The quiet ran up my spine and scratched at my ears. I needed to fill the space, and I did so with the most uncomfortable, rattling laugh.

"I... I probably wouldn't have even known we were engaged had it not been for your little sister tracking me down."

My eyes disappeared behind a painfully wide smile. I couldn't see how he reacted to that bit of news, but it seemed like the kindest, and frankly completely honest, way to cast doubt upon our situation. Had my eyes been open, perhaps I would have been prepared for the sudden capture of my shoulders.

When I did open my eyes, I found Justin's phone gone and his face just inches from my own. "Does that mean you didn't take me seriously?"

"I... I mean... It's just..."

I couldn't figure out what he wanted me to say with his face so close to mine. All I could see were his golden-brown eyes, and the only thing I could draw out of them was my own terrified reflection.

"It's okay," he said, his grip on my shoulders loosening and his breath slowing. "I just need to know the answer. Whatever it is, it won't hurt me. I just need your honesty right now."

"Well, I mean," I said, casting my gaze to the sidewalk as I gave a light shrug, "I was drunk. Had I been sober, there's no way I would have agreed to an engagement." I then turned back with a blush burning atop my cheeks. "I mean, we haven't even gone on a date together."

"Oh, thank god."

He threw his hands in the air and let out a long, relieved holler that gained a few suspicious looks from passing pedestrians, but not enough to get anyone to stop what they were doing.

"Yay?" I asked.

"It is yay, yes?" He spun on his heel and rushed back to my side. "You said you wouldn't have agreed to it if you weren't drunk. Right?"

"Well, yes, it's just..." How was I supposed to admit that I was both relieved to see him relieved, but also a little disappointed he was so ecstatic to be free of me? "Am I really that bad to be engaged to?"

"Oh," he said with a big smile, "of course not. You're a lovely lady. Not my type, but you're a catch nonetheless."

He then gave my shoulder a squeeze and looked down at me with a sympathetic smile before retrieving his phone and striding back over to his patch of wall to return to his furious typing.

"Not your type?"

Again, I wasn't looking to please him anymore, but the me from six months ago hadn't died out that quickly. Especially with Wes not around to look over me with his warm, brooding eyes that somehow lifted my self-esteem with effortless ease.

"Don't get me wrong. You are a beautiful woman. A winning smile, soft black hair, and a curvy figure, but I need a more, uh, dominant personality."

"Oh?" I asked, more intrigued than hurt at that point. I couldn't deny that being assertive was definitely not on my list of traits, but a small smile did light my face as I reached up to run my fingers through the hair he so admired.

"Yeah, I think we'd be better friends than lovers. No offense."

He looked up from his phone, giving me the same crooked smile I'd seen Wes wear. It was the first time I saw the familial resemblance between them. Just seeing that shadow of Wes in Justin's expression raised my confidence and a delighted laugh perked up my grin.

"You are a bit too high energy for me. I'm not sure I could handle a man puppy."

"My point exactly," he said, with a playful wag of his finger. "I need someone to whap me on the nose with a newspaper every now..." Then he paused, his phone vibrated with a new message and the contents of it turned his ears bright red. "All right, we need to go."

He stepped forward, earning him a few terse words from those he nearly plowed into on his way to the curb. He, however, took no notice as he hailed a cab.

"Going where?" I asked, darting over with a chorus of apologies on my lips.

"I'll explain in the car," he said as a taxi pulled up to claim us. "Right now, I really just need you to get in. Time is of the essence."

He whipped the door open, and with a strained smile, he ushered me in. I did as told, but I felt the moment of merriment from a few seconds earlier already shifting into a heavy weight in my stomach.