Tuesday,
9:43 AM
"You're sure you'll be ok?" Justin asked.
"Yes! Go. This interview is important, Go."
I stood on my tiptoes and took his jacket in my hands, kissing him.
"Ok, call if you need anything. I'll be back in a few hours."
"I will, I love you."
"I love you too, and you miss." His hand went on my stomach and I laughed. "I'll be back."
"It's fine! Go!"
"I'm going!" He smiled and winked as he opened the door. "Love you."
"Love you too."
And with that he was gone.
I looked over at the door to the nursery and smiled. He had been in there again yesterday because I went to Lexi's. I looked away and into the living room. I wouldn't go in there, he'd be so mad at me.
I sat down and held my stomach in my hands.
"Hi Jason." I talked to him and smiled down.
"How's my baby boy? Did daddy leave?"
I realized I was pretty much talking to myself, and the baby hadn't kicked anymore, which was a little weird because he had been for a while, maybe he ran out of energy.
I laughed at the thought.
I closed my eyes and pictured life six months from now. I couldn't wait to be a mom, tuck little Jason in at night, rock him to sleep, just to hold him in my arms. He better have Justin's eyes, that's for sure.
I could see him already in my arms, Justin's proud face in the delivery room. I was so scared. So scared.
But I loved him already.
Our son.
Or our daughter.
Honestly I'd be happy with Jason or Nicole, but I really thought I was having a boy.
And Justin wanted a girl, he had gone on and on about carrying her little body around in his arms and showing her off proudly. Feeding her a bottle in the early morning, or singing softly to her at night in her crib.
Then he'd hold her hand crossing the street, prop her on his shoulders walking through Canada, showing him where he grew up, the other half of her.
He'd teach her how to play guitar and piano, write a Daddy-Daughter song with her. We'd read her stories at night, answer all her curious questions, tell her we loved her every chance we got.
I was the luckiest girl in the world to have such an amazing husband. He really would be a great dad.
Better than mine...
He had sworn to never lay a hand on our kids, not with what happened to me.
I wouldn't let that happen again, and his heart was certainly too big to do that kind of damage.
I yawned, hugging my stomach tighter and nuzzled my face into the couch.
I was getting pretty tired. I guess that's what carrying a baby does to you.
I smiled, hearing that thought in my head.
I still hadn't gotten used to it....
I looked over and made sure my phone was on the table, unless Justin called or something, and once I saw it I shut my eyes again.
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