Bad Guy | Sanders Sides

Chapter Eleven

It had been days since he'd been out of his room.

He wasn't sure the others had noticed his absence, but that was okay. They were all better off without him anyway.

"You do actually need to eat," Derek said from his bed as Anxiety lingered by his desk. He was unbelievably twitchy, but he supposed that was just from his Depression. "As much as I support the whole 'lock yourself away and drown in sadness', you need food to live."

"It doesn't matter," Anxiety muttered. "I don't matter."

Derek sighed. "This isn't healthy."

"So?" Anxiety shot back. "You warned me about this right at the start. I'm accepting the fact that I don't really mean anything. Isn't that the whole point of this?"

"No," Depression said softly. "You're much more than what you think you are."

"I doubt that," Anxiety scoffed, beginning to scratch softly at his neck.

"You've learned this lesson, Anxiety. You're essential to Thomas and his life."

"So why does no-one else understand that?" The distressed personality cried. "Why do they yell at me for it? It's not my fault!" His knees buckled and he slipped to the floor. "It's not my fault, I'm not the bad guy here."

The familiar wave crested suddenly, and he was swept along in a rush of panic, static, and a sense of loss.

Derek just watched him break down because although he may sympathise, it was not his place to offer comfort.

Sadness did not offer happiness.

.

"Anxiety!"

He uncurled from his position on the floor and very quickly hid the proof of his tears with makeup. Plastering his usual scowl on his face, he opened the door, coming face-to-face with a concerned Patton.

"Hey kiddo," the parental trait said. "Why are you ignoring our summons? Thomas is making a video and you didn't show up."

"Sorry," he said sullenly. "I was too busy doing nothing to show up."

Patton frowned. "You okay kiddo?"

"I'm fine," he responded curtly. "Look, lets just go if it's that important."

"O-Okay then."

Reluctantly, he popped up, instantly shrinking back as all eyes shot to him. "This is kinda sad."

"How do you have anything negative to bring to this, Anxiety?" Thomas stressed.

"WE'RE TALKING TOONS DOCTOR GLOOM!" Prince shouted.

Inside, Anxiety was fuming but he tried to keep his cool. He really wasn't in the mood for this. "Uh yeah, Logan wasn't a blossom of enthusiasm either, but sure, make me the antagonist." Every time, you always make me the bad guy.

"Okay I will," Roman sneered.

Anxiety curled his lip. I hate you so much.

"Okay," Logan interrupted the growing argument. "What were you saying?"

Anxiety sighed. "I was saying, it's kinda sad how wonderful those worlds are." Everything works out fine in cartoons. Why can't we live in those worlds instead?

Because then everything would be easier. That's not how the world works.

He gritted his teeth.

"Mm," Thomas broke his thought pattern. "Gotta say, this still feels like a bit of a reach-"

"Can I finish?" He snapped, frustrated with people not listening to him. "Can I finish my thought? Can I finish what I was saying?" Thomas nodded meekly. "They're so wonderful," he drawled, "and you can never actually be a part of them."

"Who would want to live in a cartoon worl-" Logan started, but Roman's groan cut him off.

"OOOOOOOH MY GOODNESS! THAT WOULD BE THE MOST EPIC THING!!!"

Logan sighed. "Question answered."

And then Anxiety tuned out. Stuck on autopilot, he mindlessly spat out answers to questions that they asked him, adding his commentary without even thinking about it. Then he was a cartoon, surprise, I'm the bad guy, and then it all just abruptly ended.

"But we all know Anxiety is the fairest of them all!" He blinked. Roman looked around sheepishly. "Come on guys, it was a pale joke."

"Good one," he sneered. "I've had enough for the day." Please, anything to get out of here.

.

"When are you going to tell them?" Derek's voice was quiet and Anxiety gritted his teeth.

"They don't need to know."

"Don't they deserve to know why suddenly you're shutting them out?"

"They've shut me out for all of my existence!" He snarled. "Why should I treat them any different?"

Derek was silent for a heartbeat. "It shows you're the bigger person."

Anxiety laughed coldly, his chest filled with ash and dust. "I'm nothing like that."

"You could try to be."

"There'd be no point."

"You don't know that."

"Yes I do."

And that was that.