Oxygen (Romance, Completed)

Chapter 27

"He's on the phone. Do you want to talk to him?" Sofia stuck her head through the door, waving my mobile.

"No. I still don't know what to say."

Day two after Linc's secret came out, and I felt every bit as bad as I did yesterday. The only people I wanted to see were Sofia and Hisashi, and although it was only eleven o'clock in the morning, I'd already got through a glass of wine, half a cheesecake, and three-quarters of a box of chocolates.

"No problem. I'll put him off."

Bradley rang with...condolences? Commiserations? Something like that. He offered to fly out, but I told him to stay in Virginia. No point in messing up his life as well. He told me to expect a package soon, and I dreaded to think what would be in it. Maybe the other half of a florist store and a vat of chocolate?

For the rest of the morning and part of the afternoon, I watched mindless talk shows, which helped a little. Some of the guests were truly scary. My life may have been in the toilet, but at least my boyfriend hadn't cheated on me with my half-sister's parrot. Sofia roused me from my stupor at three, clutching the phone in her hand again.

"Jude's asking for you. Should I tell him you're not available?"

"No, it's okay. I'll speak to him."

I'd given him my number at the start of the semester, but until now he'd never called me. What did he want?

"Hello?"

"Hitler's on the warpath."

"You mean Jansen?"

"Who else? He got so narked earlier when he found out you weren't at school, he chucked his textbook through the window."

"Why was it open? It's freezing outside."

"No, I mean through the window. Glass went everywhere."

"He's crazy."

"Tell me something new. So, are you coming in for practice?"

"I can't."

"You know the recital's tomorrow, right?"

Playing in front of an audience was the last thing I felt like doing, but I needed the grade. Plus, I didn't want to let the others down, even if Jansen was an idiot.

"I'll be there. I'll practise at home tonight."

"You'd better be. Jansen's going to blow if you're not."

"I'll be there," I repeated.

For a moment, I contemplated heading straight to the airport and catching the next flight to Japan. I could be home by the time I was due at the recital. But I quickly dismissed that idea. It may help in the short term, but I'd have to deal with my family's disappointment, and the mess in Boston would get more difficult to sort out the longer I ran.

No, I needed to focus. Practise for the recital first, then think about what to say to Linc. That was my plan.

I pulled a fluffy white robe over my pyjamas and shuffled through to the living room. Sofia was sprawled on the floor next to Hisashi, pointing at pictures of animals and trying to get him to say the words.

"Cow."

"Caaaa."

"No, honey. Cow. Moooo."

At least the pair of them were busy. I slid onto the stool in front of the Fazioli and began to play, but my hands were so heavy, my touch so harsh, even Hisashi hated it. He screamed long and loud, and Sofia picked him up to comfort him.

"I'm sorry. It's not going well today," I said. The jolly notes of Beethoven were at odds with my black mood, and my attempts sounded like a flock of monkeys had got loose at the keys.

"I'll take him through to the nursery. We can play in there for a while."

"Thank you. That's probably best."

The next day, a capacity crowd waited in the recital hall, more people than had attended either of the previous events. As I walked to the stage, hundreds of eyes followed me, almost as if they were waiting to witness my impending humiliation. In the back row, the three bodyguards who'd accompanied me from home sat like statues, arms folded. Did Emmy train them to do that?

I took my place at the keys and arranged my music on the stand. Usually, I didn't need it, but the notes wouldn't stay in my head this time. When competing for space with Linc, there could only be one winner.

He'd messaged me this morning, a simple line that said Good luck x. But he didn't bother telling me to smile this time. He must have known it would be an impossibility.

Dr. Vasilyevich tapped his microphone, asking for silence. "I wish to introduce our fourth ensemble of the day. Jansen van Diemen, Jude Radley, and Akari Takeda."

As soon as my fingers struck the first note, I knew I'd made a mistake in coming. Why hadn't I made up an excuse and stayed in bed? Emmy would have thought of something convincing.

Where the music should have been smooth, it resonated with a jaggedness that came from my soul. Harsh and lumpy, then sharp and cold... It cut right through me, and Jansen and Jude too if their glares were anything to go by. I missed a chunk of notes in the middle, started to repeat the beginning of the fifth page, and played on when there should have been silence. I wasn't imagining the steam coming from Jansen's ears as he finished his own part with a flourish.

As soon as the lights went up, I fled the stage, running down the steps, along the aisle, and shoving through the door to the corridor. Footsteps followed, and I prayed they belonged to the three stooges rather than Jansen. I couldn't deal with him right now. I didn't slow until I'd left the whispers in the auditorium far behind.

Where was I? I looked around, trying to get my bearings. My blind dash through hallways and down stairs had led me to Linc's palace in the basement, only now the door lay ajar. I peeped in. Empty. Not just of Linc but all his belongings too. Tears started afresh when I realised he'd left his job at Holborn. If I'd thought logically, I'd have known he would, but that didn't make it any easier to take.

The bodyguards caught up with me and skidded to a halt a few feet away, shifting from foot to foot as they waited for me to do something.

Finally, the tallest one stepped forward. "Do you want to go home, ma'am?"

I nodded, even though my apartment no longer felt like a home. Home had been Linc, and now I was destitute, cast out onto the street until I figured out a way to come back in from the cold.