SHAUNTI [2015 featured story]

Chapter Twenty-Seven: The Done Deed

A strong sense of uncertainty pounded on the walls of their minds and fear dominated their hearts.  Walking beside one another was like leading one to the guillotine—too terrible of a moment to even think about saying encouraging or comforting words. 

Knox looked over at Jace and saw a face contorted by the universal enemy known as “fear.”  The only reason Jace walked beside Knox was because of the trust they had built over the countless hours.  Knox couldn’t understand how, out in the wilderness—where anything could go wrong— Jace was walking willingly into a procedure that could change his life for the better or for the worse. 

Afraid more for his own competence than Jace’s, Knox stopped and said strongly, “Let’s not do this.  I can’t watch you do this.”  He scratched fervently behind his neck and his footsteps shuffled in the snow.  He couldn’t decide between heading back to the cave or pushing onward.  Looking at Jace again, he dropped both his hands, making a dull, apologetic slap against his clothing.  “It’s not going to work.”

Jace lowered his head and found sudden interest in the ground.  His eyes blinked thoughtfully and the eighteen year-old inside of him transformed into someone Knox did not recognize.  When he turned his eyes to Knox, there was a brave glow in Jace’s face and a soft smile, one of acceptance of the situation, moved the corner of his mouth.  “Knox, I can’t get oxygen to this hand.”  He showed Knox the discoloration in the hand again.  His voice warbled, “It is dying and it is going to spread.  We’re the only ones who can stop it.”

The next words Knox spoke were ones Jace had thought often to himself about his friend but never, ever imagined Knox saying.  It was almost in a voice of disbelief—like Knox hadn’t fully figured it out yet.  “Why are you my friend?”

Without hesitation, for hesitation meant doubt, Jace replied, “Because out of everyone I’ve ever known, you knew who I was when we met.  And you continued to accept and believe in who I am even when, you know, others gave up on me.  I’m not going to find that in another person.”

Knox made a small laugh.  “Yeah, you are!  I mean, I’m the reason we’re standing here debating on whether or not to cut your arm off.”

Jace threw his head back and sighed.  “Knox, we can’t change what has led us to this point.  Sure, sometimes you’re a pain and slightly insensitive and I hate most of your ideas for good fun, but I wouldn’t throw that away for sitting at home day in and day out like you know I would do.  You’re my friend because if I had the choice to choose one, I wouldn’t be the better person I am right now.”

Speechless, Knox stood there.  Anything he said in response would have ruined the moment.  He wished he could’ve confirmed that he thought the same way, but all Knox could do was keep the tears from showing. 

Holding a hand out in front of him, flat palm facing Knox, Jace slowly approached him.  Before Knox could refuse, Jace, out of a brotherly affection that couldn’t be defined, placed his good arm around Knox’s shoulders and hugged him the best he could. 

A new understanding came between them—for when friends share what has been on their minds, whether good news or bad news, a new link has been attached and the bond has grown stronger.  And such a moment grew between them once again. 

“Thanks,” Knox said.  He gave Jace an honored nod. 

Jace let out another sigh and headed off to the water source in uninterrupted steps.  Knox followed him at a slower pace, knowing they had decided on their next action and backing out would be strictly prohibited.

When they arrived at the water source, which was a shallow creek, they ceremonially knelt down and Jace rolled up his sleeve.  The purple hand hung in the air like a limb from a monster.  It was uglier than they had both remembered, but then again, the intensity of the scene stimulated their imaginations and fogged their grasp on reality.