Defending Eve

The Second Time Around

I had spun the wheel of fortune again and again.  And it kept landing in the same place.

“Eric, am I destined to be alone?”

“You’re probably a lot closer to the jackpot than the rest of us.”

It was half-time of the first Georgia Bulldogs game of the season.  I wondered if the game could offer me any insight on my experience.

Eric reminded me, “The Bulldogs keep coming close.  Then they keep losing in the last seconds.”

“As Coach Richt emphasizes, they need to complete the drill.”

The game made everything seem so obvious.  If the team was stalling, it was because they became distracted from their game plan.  They needed to repeat what they learned in practice.  Indeed, they needed to complete the drill.

After I broke up with Samantha, I worked things out in my mind.  It was an onerous process.  I was still learning.  But I realized that there was no half-way.  If I really loved someone, I would walk through the fires of hell to stay with her.  I couldn’t just quit in the middle of the process.

I again explained my philosophy to Eric.

“Adam, it is one thing to figure out what went wrong after the fact.  Your mind has to be in the game when you’re playing.  Not when you’re in the locker room analyzing how you messed up.”

I didn’t feel as if I was ready to admit defeat.  Things went wrong.  But I learned a lot.  

“I couldn’t have stayed with Naomi.”

“I think that Mark really poisoned the well for you.  He had a total melt down.”

“After the baby bottle incident, there was nothing that anyone could have done.”

Eric observed, “And Geneva is still off limits.”

“That’s what I’ve been telling myself all along.  It just makes sense.”

I wondered if I had just been protecting myself.  I was only afraid of getting hurt.  But my experience with Gillian told me different.  I was ready to tolerate almost anything with her.  When Samantha came along, I was on a short fuse.

Eric asked, “Have you ever thought that you were too honest with women?  Maybe you should learn to hold your tongue.”

I couldn’t have dealt with Naomi any differently.  If I really loved her, I would have accepted her game with the baby bottle.  On the other hand, that was only a clue of her withdrawn nature.  If I didn’t really love her, then I wasn’t ready to compromise.  

“It wasn’t as if Naomi just had a dark secret.  Something was never right from the beginning.”

“Now, are you being honest?  Was Geneva just in the way?”

“I told you that I have no feelings for her.”

Nothing changed.  Simply because I was alone wouldn’t inspire me to see Geneva in a romantic light.  Even though she broke up with Mark, she still was part of his life.  I could never pursue her.

In the second half, the Bulldogs seemed to fight their fight.  The coaching really did work.  They were able to eke out a victory.

“I told you that they needed to commit,” said Eric.

“It’s like a marriage.  You can’t just commit to your partner.  You have to follow through.”

Eric asked, “Is your mind really in the game?”