Unbreakable - Surviving the Truth · (Roswell Fanfiction) ·

TEN

"How was school?"

It was not the regular, semi-interested, standard question. This was a loaded question. A question that was shaking with nervousness and fearful anticipation.

My dad looked at me with large eyes, trying unsuccessfully to hide how much he wished for a positive answer to his question.

"Um," I mused and settled for a shrug. "Good, actually."

The small introspective smile on my lips must have confused him. "Really?"

"Yeah," I continued. "It was actually good."

"No weird questions?" my dad implored further. "Nothing strange happen? They accepted that you were there?"

"Well," Max came up behind me and wrapped his arm across my shoulder, pulling me into his side, "Liz got a vote of confidence."

Dad looked lost. "'Vote of confidence'?"

I looked up at Max, wondering if I should tell or...

He smiled at me. "Tell him."

The relief at being able to be honest with my dad washed over me pleasurably and I started my recounting of the events of the day without a second of hesitation, "It was really cool, actually."

Max filled in the blanks when I myself was missing facts. Max had informed me of the meaning of the light shining from everyone's chest when we had been on our way home from school, but there were still some questions lingering here and there which I now got the answers to while speaking to my father with Max next to me.

Describing to my father what had happened, I realized that Max calling it 'Vote for confidence' was a really good description of what had happened in that canteen. Even though some of the aliens had left the canteen, refusing to 'vote' for me, a majority of the aliens had stayed. They had showed their respect. 

I wasn't able to fully describe how it felt to have so many aliens on our side. 

"I take it that you won't have any troubles continuing school then?" dad asked hopefully after I had told him of the day's event.

He had probably been afraid that I never wanted to return to school after today.

I shook my head in negative. "Nope."

The smile stretched from one ear to the next when he pulled me into a warm hug. "I'm so happy for you, Ella."

"Me too," I mumbled into his shoulder and squeezed him tighter.

*****

The day at school had been better than I could ever have hoped and had truly improved my mood. Still, the emotional dip that arrived shortly after supper couldn't be avoided. I was alone in Max's room at the time, Max wanting to talk to his grandfather privately.

My guess is that the remainder of the pregnancy hormones in my system, coupled with me being alone, plunged me into a dark place.

It was not that I grieved the fetus, per se. It was so small when I miscarried it, barely even called a fetus yet, still an embryo. I hadn't felt it move, hadn't even known if its existence. 

What was crushing me, which made my chest ache and tears roll down my cheeks, was the feeling of what might have been. Max and I were not ready to be parents, but it didn't make me miss the possibilities any less. 

I could still visualize nursing an infant, my inner eye seeing the child take its first steps, picturing the small child in Max's arms. I was certain, without a trace of doubt, that we both would have loved that child.