.:HOW NOT TO WRITE A WATTPAD STORY:.
Preface-
I've been on this site for little over a week now (at the time of writing) and I've realised so many irritating things clogging it up.
Instead of preparing a list like the others, I'm just going to write an amalgamation of all the crap I found.
[UPDATE - 11/7/2010] - I am aware that this is winning the Wattys and that most of you, including myself, don't believe this should be 'published' :P I've spoken with Eva and I have forfeited my prize. So at the time of writing, the true winner of the Wattys is LJMichaels with her excellent The Descendants Saga.
[UPDATE - 31/7/2010] - I have removed this story from the Wattys after a long and great run in the #1 position for reasons I'll explain later on. Thank you all for getting me where I was though :D
I've also noticed many stories ripping off my idea and being entered into the Wattys. These stories are the reason I had to remove mine from the Wattys so thanks to all those unbelievably creative people that copied me -.- Imitation may be the highest form of flattery but it also pisses me off big time. You know who you are.
My cast has returned! Blessed be the name of Odin (and the WP crew)
-From this point on, whatever you read is NOT SERIOUS. i.e. This is not how I actually write. Annotations done in square brackets such as [ and ].-
[This is the title]'OMG! My parents arranged a marriage with a ninja vampire who I totally hate cause I'm a emo girl and because he lives next door to the Cullens!'
<chapter one> [the only chapter]
'Hey hunny.. We've got an arranged marriage waiting for you.' surprised my mom.
'MOM! I'M EMO!' i screamed. [Whenever I see something like this in a story, it makes me wonder why the other characters don't strangle the emo in question]
'He's very cute. And he's totally not some ninja vampire we found on craigslist and you will definitely not fall for him.'
'Oh no' I said. 'Fine. I'll go pack.'
I turned on my awesomely kool iPhone 3GS 32 GB 3 megapixel camera Serial Number 1798763938639 and started rocking out to the Jonas brothers. They are the koolest (aside from justin biber)
Five hours later we were at his house because my mom had decided I should move in right away.
'Hello' he said. 'My name is Alexander Terracotta Pie Penguin Dae Hsu Sasuke Virgildirk Alighieri' He had very large teeth and red eyes and blood on his sleeve (OO SCARY SCARY) but he was sooo not a vampire.
'Hello' said my mom. 'Take care of my daughter. See ya'
Then my mom rushed outside very very fast. But there was something wrong... she used to run slowly. (creepy music)
Mr. Alexander TPPDHSVA (I'll call him Tupuduhsva for simpalicity. LOL LOL <3 <3) came up to me and said 'Hello. We are married now'
'Go away.' I said. 'I'm emo'
'Please' said Alex Tupuduhsva, 'I think youre hot'
Then I was liek 'O RLY?'
He said 'Yaa, you are totally hot'
Then we made out for the next 27 hours while some fat guy videotaped it and sold it on ebay.
The next next morning, Alex Tupuduhsva said 'let's go visit our neighbours the cullens'
