Fear. Something that can control me but will never own me. Yeah I get scared of getting beat or used but don't get confused I'll never defuse. I will get hurt time after time but I will never show you it was never worth it, because it is worth it. I make mistakes and God knows it's great as long as I come back up after I almost drowned in my own sins. Sure it hurts me though I'm not even 17. I'm slowly sinking and drowning but don't try to catch me when I'm falling because I won't know how to get back up if I don't catch me. Sure you can hurt me, beat me, cheat me, even kiss me, but though my heart is breaking every time I leave because you mistreat me it only makes it easier to share these broken pieces with some people who actually need it. Find another damn girl and tell her you'll never leave her because she'll need it after all the bleeden she's been through. I've lost so many tears because of my own mistakes that I blame others and myself for this mistreaten. I get called a slut not just by other people but by myself when I wish I had been drinken after that long night. I can keep writing words online or on a screen maybe for no one to see and it gets to me, but I'll just dive in deep just to you can see, I'm not drowning though I'm barely breathing. I'm finally starting to see even though it's scary to be me, the fear isn't what is controllen me. It's my damn love and kindness that I let get to me.
