Finding Love in the Past (Sirius Black)

Decision.

I spent the following days ignoring the Marauders as much I could, mainly Remus. That's what I do, I tend to run away from my problems. I couldn't handle liking Sirius and Remus and have to deal with Regulus.

However, I had to face them at some point since it's been hard avoiding them and they felt that something's wrong at least Remus knows why.

He had been trying to talk to me, but I always managed to get away before he came closer. Hermione sensed that something was wrong. I didn't tell her the truth knowing she would flip. It was bad enough that Sirius had feelings for me, now so did Remus.

What if we went back to our era and Remus recognized me as the girl he once liked? I would feel horrible if this would effect his relationship with Nymphadora.

It was impossible to avoid the Marauders forever. I didn't know what kind of excuse I can make up for avoiding them, but I had to think fast because they caught me sitting at the lake. There was no point in running now.

"Hey Diana." James yelled waving wildly and started to walk faster with the others trailing behind him.

I took a deep breath before they reached me and gave them a small smile and tried to act like nothing happened. "Hey boys."

"Care to tell us why you've been avoiding us for 5 days now!" James started and I was about to reply when Sirius added "Did we do something wrong?"

I gave a quick glance at Remus, he was looking at anything but me. Turning my attention back to the others I answered "No, you didn't. I just needed to be alone for a while and think."

That was the best I could come up with and they weren't sure if I was lying or not, but decided to believe me. It was true though, I did need some time to think about what had happened since the day I came to this era. I was beginning to think I had made a huge mistake when I played with that time turner.

"Lads, would you mind if I talked to Diana...alone?" James asked surprising not only me but the others.

I couldn't help but notice that his eyes lingered on Remus a bit before turning to the rest. Something was up and I was beginning to get worried. Peter shrugged along with Sirius while Remus just nodded and glanced at me before leaving with his friends.

"I know." James said sitting on the ground next to me.

"You know what?"

"About you and Remus." He replied now facing me with a slight smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I said trying not to make eye contact and focused on the lake instead.

"Stop Diana. Remus told me what happened."

I still didn't look at him which made him sigh heavily. "Sirius doesn't know in case you were wondering."

That caught me by surprise and I finally turned to look at him. I guess he wasn't as clueless as I thought. Or maybe they talked to him about me. I was concerned about what he thought about all this though. If Sirius ever found out, Remus and him would fight and I'm not worth it.

One thing that bothered me was, why hadn't Sirius made a move on me if he liked me as Hermione said?

"What do you think I should do?" I asked after a minute of awkward silence."I don't want to ruin their friendship for something as silly as this."

"First of, it's not silly you're not silly. Second, I don't know for one stop avoiding us we miss having you around." He said trying to brighten the mood a bit and made me chuckle.

"I think you should talk to Remus. He doesn't know how you feel about Sirius neither does Sirius come to think of it."

I groaned not wanting to be stuck in a love triangle. Why couldn't things be simple? I was beginning to believe that Sirius didn't like me much in that way. He would have hinted or even made a move on me since he's known for the way he charms the ladies.

"And tell him what? I like you Remus and your best friend too and I can't choose between you two? You know James I don't think Sirius likes me in that way. I might as well give up." I said feeling a slight burn in my heart.

"Hang on, you like Remus?" He asked seriously and when I didn't respond he shook his head.

I didn't know why I was being so open with James. He seemed like a person I could trust, he reminded me of Harry. I always told him everything and went to him for advice sometimes when Hermione wasn't of much help.

One thing I wouldn't dare tell James was that I was from the future. Either he wouldn't believe me and think I'm a freak or feel betrayed that I wasn't honest with him and the others.

"I can't tell you what to do, Diana. It's up to you to choose who you want to be with."

I needed to hear someone else's opinion and that was Hermione's. She would kill me but she needed to know. After all, she's my best friend.

"I'll be in my room thinking this through. I need to make a decision." I said getting up. "Thank you for this talk James."

"You're welcome. I'm glad that you trust me enough. Plus, I still owe you for that date with Lily." James smiled getting up also. "I'll see you at dinner."

I went to the girls' dorm trying to find Hermione. She was lying on her bed and seemed in a deep thought. I cleared my throat before sitting down on the edge of her bed. "Hermione. I have something to tell you. It's..." I took a deep breath before carrying on. "Remus kissed me."

That made her shot up with a confused yet furious look on her face. "What?!"

"Shh, don't let anyone hear you." I whispered angrily. "I don't know what to do Hermione."

"I told you not to get involved with them and you did. Now look what happened! How is Sirius taking this? This would ruin their friendship and..."

I cut her off by saying "Hey! We don't know how this would effect them in the future. Maybe it won't Hermione because it's not that big of a deal. It was just a kiss nothing else." I tried to make myself believe my words, but my heart just won't allow it.

"I see it in you, Diana you like him. Merlin, what did you get yourself into?"

"It's not like it's my fault that he kissed me! I didn't ask for this you know. Things happen." I said laying down on my own bed and closing my eyes.

We stayed in silence for at least half an hour, not knowing what to say. "I want to go home." I said feeling a tear slide down my cheek.

"Me too." Hermione agreed for the first time in a long time since we got here. We always fought whenever the topic was about the Marauders.

"I'm going to talk to Remus and tell him that I don't feel anything for him other than friendship. Sirius doesn't seem to want to be with me anyway so I guess we don't have to deal with that." I said getting up to leave for dinner. As much as it hurt I was had to lie to Remus.

"Diana..." Hermione started but was cut off by the sound of the door closing behind me. I sighed heavily and walked out of the common room to join the Marauders for dinner.