It's got to be the pills

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Ever have that moment where you entire life is crashing down? Where you everything is now come with your life time walls? Well nows mine.

Jason Blossom. My dead best friend. My crush. The love of my life. He's dead. Who has been dead, for over five months now. Is now standing in front of me in my doorway.

His smile is still the same Jason smile I've been missing. His hair is still ginger blossom red. His dimples are killing me. But he's not real. He can't be real. He died.

I can't take my eyes off of the sight I'm seeing. There are moments I question my sanity and today is the one I'm sure of that I'm not.

That's when I remember what my doctor gave me. Pain medication.

I shake my head smally, but rapidly.

"No, it's not him." I mutter.

The "Jason", in front of me losses his smile for a quick second.

"It's the pills." I declare. "It's got to be the pills."

I close my eyes and take big breaths. He's dead Erin. He's not coming back and he's not here now. You went to his funeral, you found the luggage in the church, Cheryl clarified it. He's dead.

Two hands steadily grab my shoulders and I shoot my eyes open. The 'Jason' is holding my shoulders and staring at me in his eyes. His eyes are the same brown honey eyes.

"Erin, it's me, it's Jason." He says huskily.

Oh, my, God.

It is him.

"You're dead." I say, having prickly tears run my eyes. I blink them away but some let loose.

"No Erin. I'm here. Right now. With you. I didn't die in that boat in Sweet Water River. I made it across the river. After I made it I ran. I had to. It was the only way to escape. I hid away in our vacation cabin up north. God I missed you." Jason explains.

My heart stops. He made it, and he didn't tell anyone. He didn't call, didn't text, didn't even look back. I know he wanted to leave, but making someone who loves you, believe you're dead, is sick. Truly sick.

"How long have you been back in Riverdale?" I ask him, now crying.

"Five hours." He answers simply. "I drove here because I couldn't handle it anymore. I had to be back here. With you. With my family. I came home and explained everything to my family. They obviously were pissed, but love me all the same. I needed to see you and of course they weren't gonna stop me."

I always imagined what it would be like if Jason was still alive. I imagined he'd just go with Polly some more and never quit her. But after reading his letter, I found out he loved me. The imperfect, insecure, troubled past, me. How? How could be even consider loving me. That I can never know. He hasn't told me the reason he just told me he does. But what does he see in me?

Polly at least was beautiful and came from a perfect family. Well, kinda. She was a straight A student and never got in trouble. Yea I've had my fare share of detentions. Due to Reggie of course. Some of me. It's a seventy thirty ratio here people.

"Why didn't you go and see Polly first? You're technically still you're her boyfriend." I ask him.

I'm probably gonna regret his answer but I have to know. Shouldn't he at least let her know? She was dating him.

"I love you Erin Keller." Jason whispers.

I freeze at his words, but quickly say what I've always wanted to say to him.

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