Am I Alive?

Chapter XVII

Jake

"Good morning sleeping beauty!" I call kissing her on the cheek as she awakens from yet another nap.

"Good morning!" She answers stretching before realizing the sky is pitch black. "Its not even morning you, dummy." She laughed before slapping my shoulder. I flinched and laughed enjoying the feeling.

I notice for the first time that Colbi is starting to appear as though she's fading.

"Are you feeling alright?" I asked softly rubbing her shoulders.

"Yeah I'm fine. Quit your doting, gosh you're worse than my mom ever was." She laughed swatting away my hands. I snickered and starting tickling her.

"Go back to sleep, Colbi. I'll wake you up in the morning." I smile as she curls up on my chest. She falls asleep almost instantly and like I promised I wake her as the sun begins to rise.

"Wake up. Okay enough joking around. I'm being serious, are you feeling alright?" I asked her as I shook her awake.

"Yes. Why?" She asks stretching and looking around at the woods.

"You are starting to look lighter. I think you're over working yourself." I said back to her as she waved me off and walked the woods heading for her usual spot to wave Rose goodbye.

Colbi is getting better at unnerving Slader and I still think that man deserves everything that's coming to him. She has started appearing to him two to three times a day before taking an eight hour nap to regain her strength. The problem is she isn't regaining anything no matter how long she sleeps.

A couple more days pass and I watch as she starts to grow weaker and weaker. I follow her as she tries to do something she has never achieved before. Appearing and mouthing words, and I don't know if she will be able to do it.

I'm sitting outside Slader's office with her and think back to before I told her. I think of the smile she used to wear. I think of the wonder and curiosity which she approached everything with. I think of those kisses.

I miss that Colbi and I think now I'm going to lose her for good. Ghosts can wear themselves out and disappear from the physical realm. I've watched it happen many times over the years. I think they go to purgatory, but I honestly don't know. 

She awaits in the middle of the office space practicing mouthing your fault. She repeats it over and over. Her skin has grown paler than ever and her eyes are sunken. She actually looks like a corpse. At this point even I would be terrified to see that. He walks out and she establishes the connection. Shooting me a smile when he reacts.

"Get away from me! Just leave me alone!" Slader yells as he walks through the space throwing everything he can reach toward her. I watch as his coworkers begin to freak out because their boss is having a mental break down and throwing things at thin air.

"Your fault. YOur Fault. YOUr fault. YOUR fault. YOUR FAUlt. YOUR FAULT!!!" She starts out mumbling then screams and I know it worked because he covered his ears as if he can hear the broken shrill of her voice.

"I did it. Okay, I did it. I admit it. I did it!" He screamed at her throwing a copy machine at her face as she smirked and disappeared.

Happy with her performance she skips back to the Forest. She plops down against a tree curling up and to my own eyes she's barely even visable. If I let this continue she'll be gone in three days. I know it because I've seen this enough times.

"I can't take this anymore!" I whisper as I took Colbi's hand and thought of a waterfall somewhere in California, far away from here. She was still asleep as I laid her in a cave not far from the top of the falls. I know she'll be mad when she awakens, but she needs this break. She's losing herself.

"Where am I?" I heard as I was tossing rocks from the cliff.

"Good morning, sleeping beauty." I say standing up.

"Get away from me!" She screams pushing me away. She stalked over and slaps me across the cheek. "We had him, you idiot!" She screams and pushes me off the cliff. I fall for a couple minutes before reappearing on the cliff.

"Do you feel better now?" I asked looking annoyed. She glares at me and pushes me off again. I let myself fall this time dropping to the bottom of the falls. When I reach the bottom I swim up and sit next to the creek and give her time. She can't teleport back to town. She's too weak now.

I hear a wordless scream of defeat fall to my ears. I know it's her, but I couldn't let her continue on her self destructive path.