Hello people, I am having major hand cramps cause I just typed these all out without stoping and I decided to make them all 1 chapter cause it would be kinda stupid just having like 2 words in a chapter so ya...and I was to lazy to re-make chapter so contnue reading and laughing!
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Q: What does a nosey pepper do? A: Gets jalapeno business!
Q: What do you call a fake noodle? A: An Impasta
Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest? A: An Investigator
Q: What happens if you eat yeast and shoe polish? A: Every morning you'll rise and shine!
Q: "What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?" A: "You can't tuna fish."
Q: Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato? A: The lettuce was a "head" and the tomato was trying to "ketchup"!
Q: Did you hear about the hungry clock? A: It went back four seconds.
Q: What do you call a boy who finally stood up to the bullies? A: An ambulance.
Q: What do you get from a pampered cow? A: Spoiled milk.
Q: Did you hear about that new broom? A: It's sweeping the nation!
Q: What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter? A: An irrelephant.
Q: What do lawyers wear to court? A: Lawsuits!
Q: What gets wetter the more it dries? A: A towel.
Q: Why did the belt get locked up? A: He held up a pair of pants.
Q: What do you call a fat psychic? A: A four chin teller.
Q: What do you call a computer floating in the ocean? A: A Dell Rolling in the Deep.
Q: What did Bacon say to Tomato? A: Lettuce get together!
Q: What do you call a computer that sings? A: A-Dell
Q: Did you hear about the shampoo shortage in Jamaica? A: It's dread-full.
Q: How do you make a tissue dance? A: Put a little boogey in it!
Q: What do you call a gangsta snowman? A: Froze-T
Q: What did the femur say to the patella? A: I kneed you.
Q: Why did the picture go to jail? A: Because it was framed.
Q: What do you call a three-footed aardvark? A: a yardvark!
Q: What do you get when you cross fish and an elephant? A: Swimming trunks.
Q: Where do bees go to the bathroom? A: At the BP station!
Q: Who earns a living driving their customers away? A: A taxi driver.
Q: What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary? A: a thesaurus.
Q: "How do you shoot a killer bee?" A: "With a bee bee gun."
Q: How do you drown a Hipster? A: In the mainstream.
Q: What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? A: "Where’s Popcorn?"
Q: What do you call sad coffee?" A: Despresso.
Q: How do you make holy water? A: Boil the hell out of it!
Q: What happened to the dog that swallowed a firefly? A: It barked with de-light!
YOU ARE READING
Funny texts
TilfeldigFunny texts,riddles,jokes of many types! Everything is packed into this funny book. (These are not my jokes, I just found them and thought you people would enjoy them)
