Somewhere, Today

28

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Song for the chapter: Little Do You Know by Alex and Sierra

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"Underneath it all I'm held captive by the hole inside.
I've been holding back,
for the fear that you might change your mind.
I'm ready to forgive you but forgetting is a harder fight.
Little do you know,
I need a little more time."

Monday morning rolls around, the challenge of waking up facing me. My hair's a mess, the short curls sticking up in every direction possible. Clair is groaning in her bed beside me, her alarm screaming in the small room.

After the party had ended Saturday night Clair had been asking me all the time if I was okay. My response was constant each time, I was fine; I truly was. Meghan didn't see us again this weekend, her guilt probably forbidding her from even showing her face around us.

Harry hasn't made an appearance either since then. I tried not to let my mind wonder what Meghan and Harry had done late into the night. Did he whisper dirty words into her ear while they danced close, or did he take her to his apartment for the night. I want to think none of that happened, but apart of me can tell that Harry didn't stop at kissing.

"I hate early mornings!" Clair chucks her pillow at the alarm clock, the sound of it hitting the floor with a loud thud catching my attention. "Why does school ever have to start again?" I chuckle at Clair's complaining.

"We're gonna be out again in a few weeks for the holiday anyways." Clair rubs her eyes, the mascara she was wearing yesterday now smudged underneath her eyes. It crazy how she still looks gorgeous even as she wakes up.

"Too far." The sun is shining out the window, this winter is gearing up to feel like just another beautiful summer. I didn't mind it too much, the warm weather always made my bones feel at ease.

"I'm going to go shower. I'll be right back." Clair's voice is deep, sleep still present in her throat. Her shoulders slouch as she drags her feet across the floor and walks out of the room. I laugh to myself once she's gone, her child-like complaining actually causing happiness.

I decide to wear a floral printed loose dress and jean jacket today, the weather outside calling for a breezy outfit. Warm air had been flowing through the window, the wind warming my skin.

My hair gets thrown into a small bun atop my head, my baby hairs sticking out like little whiskers. They made me feel youthful, like everything was simple and happy again. I had to put all of my books and laptop into my bag again, reminding myself that I haven't been to school is almost two weeks. All the work I have to make up is still sitting on my desk.

I usually never let work pile up, but then again I never planned on coming back here once I went back home. But then I realized that my family is here, people that care about me are here. Harry will be impossible to ignore, but I plan on holding my ground as I previously was never able to do.

If Harry doesn't show up to class today then I'd be able to just go unnoticed as usual. If Harry does go then maybe he'll make a scene, or he'll stay quiet. I'm really hopping it's the latter of the two.

I wait for Clair to come back and get ready before we leave together, bags in hand. We talk about classes and upcoming exams before the break. Everything is winding down now for the long vacation, and somehow I was the only one not ready.

Going home would mean spending as much time as possible in an immense, cold, white house that was built for a family but only has one survivor. I didn't want to spend that much time alone with my thoughts, that was a dangerous thing to do.