When Scars Become Stars (on hold, sorry)

x i'm 10...no joke x

x i'm 10...no joke x

***

"This heart, it beats, beats for only you, my heart is yours. Please don't go now, please don't go now-"

"Alex?"

I opened my eyes, recognizing his gentle voice. I sat up on the couch, noticing him sat next to me with his head rested on my shoulder. I looked down to his arms, both bandaged tightly.

"How are you?"

"This heart, it beats, beats for only-"

"Alex, are you ok?"

"My heart is yours," he continued. He took my hand, kissed it, and then wrapped his arm around my waist. Snuggling into me, he closed his eyes.

"Alex," I sighed. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," he said quietly. "I just don't want you to go,"

"Go where?"

"Away,"

"Away..?"

"Like my Mom,"

"Alex," I murmured and kissed his forehead. "I swear I wont. You just have to promise me that you're not going to hurt yourself,"

He looked up at me, scared. "Will you leave me if I hurt myself?"

"No," I promised. "I'll be dissappointed, but I'll understand. I understand why you hurt yourself Alex, but it's still not good."

"Would you ever leave me?"

"Not for anything," I promised. "Unless I stopped having feelings for you. But I don't see that happening,"

"I love you,"

I smiled. "I love you too,"

***

Alex slept for a little, just leaning down on me. But eventually he woke, and when he woke, he seemed different. He had these childlike, confused eyes. It was cute but kind of worrying.

I ignored it though. "How's your Dad?"

"Sleeping," he gestured to the armchair and I gasped. I hadn't even noticed anyone else in the room, let alone Trevor.

"You look like your Dad,"

"I look like Jeremy,"

Trevor's eyes shot open. "Alex-"

"I sound like him too but he has voice and-"

"Alex-"

"But we have the same eyes. I think that's why Dad doesn't like looking at me that much. Jeremy has my-"

"Alex will you stop talking about him like he's alive. He doesn't have a deep voice, he had one. He doesn't have your eyes, he had them. Just go to sleep," Trevor hissed.

Alex smiled a little and I sighed. Was he ok? He seemed kind of...weird. I knew the hospital gave him something to ease the pain for the stitches, but that was supposed to ware off easily.

"I'm not tired,"

"Then go take some sleeping pills,"

"But Daaaaaaad,"

"And stop talking like you're 10 years old,"

Alex looked up at me in confusion. "Why is he saying that?"

I shrugged. "You're just not yourself, that's all. Are you ok?"

"Yeaaaaaah," he smiled. "But I'm confused,"

"Why?"

"Dad said to stop talking like I was 10,"

"And...?"

"I am 10,"

***

"Alex this isn't funny!" Trevor snapped. It had been about 20 minutes since Alex claimed he was still 10 years old, and he was the exact same. He was childlike and confused and a little shy, but in some strange way it was really cute as well as worrying.

"What's not funny?" Alex whimpered; he was kind of scared. He wasn't even holding my hand like he was earlier. He moved away from me, said he didn't recognize me much but that he thought I was pretty.

"This!" Trevor growled and then stood up, marching over to the couch to grab Alex's chin. "What are you doing? Trying to be funny? This isn't funny! Stop talking about Jeremy, ok?!"

"But-"

"ALEX, JUST SHUT UP!"

"I want Jeremy!"

Me and Trevor both stared at him in surprise. "What?"

He clutched onto Trevor's shirt, holding himself tightly to it. "I want Jeremy to come over. I'm scared,"

***

Alex had been crying into Trevor's shirt for 5 minutes before he eventually pulled away, looked up, wiped his eyes and yawned.

"What-"

"What the hell was that?" Trevor demanded. "Yeah I get you're mad at me for driving your Mom to leave but that was just cruel Alex! I can't believe you!"

Alex stared at him in confusion. "What?"

"Don't play dumb,"

Alex faced me. "What is he-"

"You told us you were 10. That you wanted Jeremy. Then you cried,"

"Why the hell would I do that?"

"Dunno, but you did."

"No I didn't!"

"Alex-"

"Wait," Trevor said quietly. "Cassie, when your Dad was talking to me earlier, he said that people can learn to cope with trauma's in different ways. Some people self harm, some become anti social, iscolate themselves, some end up having multiple personalities..."

"What does that mean?" I asked.

"It means that...maybe Alex...has another personality..."

Alex stared at Trevor. "The fuck?"

"Don't swear," he mumbled. "Alex..do you space out a lot?"

"Um...I dunno,"

"Think hard,"

"I dunno. Yeah I guess,"

Trevor nodded. "You get some sleep, ok? We'll talk to Cassie's Dad tomorrow,"

"But-"

"Just sleep," Trevor said quietly. "Go spoon your girlfriend or something,"

Trevor just shrugged as Alex raised an eye-brow and walked over to me. Sitting down next to me on the couch, he took my hand and sighed.

"I'm sorry I'm fo fucked up,"

"Don't be,"  I assured him. "We all are,"

<3