Taking Chances

If i fall,Will you catch me?

I wake up, stretching my arms out, gripping onto the cold sheets beneath me.  Pulling my arm from under my limp body, I put it onto my pillow, pushing myself up from my slumber. I lean against my headbored, waiting for my eyes to focus on my bedroom.  I feel myself going back to sleep, so i decide it's time to get up. I pulls my legs out of my quilt, landing my feet on the floor. I don't want to go to school today.I don't want to go to school any day.  I lift myself from my bed, when all i want is to be back in it. Only a few months ago i was home, In Maryland, playing with my sister, Sara, but i'm here. I wish i could be anywhere but here. I walk over to my mirror, deciding i don't need to shower today and puts a hand in a knot in my hair, trying to brush it out. I walk into the bathroom, putting my hands around the rim and leaning into the sink bowl to be closer to the mirror. Just as i've finished flossing my teeth, i can hear my name being called from down the corridor.

"Tara!" I can hear him souting. I always wonder how the other people in the dorm stand him running up and down, shouting every morning. "Tara! Wake up!" I just want to shout back 'I'm awake!' but the girl next door is sick of my noise in the mornings, but it is 11:37, they should be up by now. I walk out of the bathroom to see him, leaning, against my door frame

"Well, Don't you look terrible" He chuckles, his laugh is is full of charm yet so muscular. I laugh along. As i always do. He walks in, shutting the door behind him and comes over to me, slipping his hand into mine. "No, Oliver.." i pull my hand away and looks down, I can't bare to see his face, I've hurt him so many times, I didn't think it bothered him that much anymore, But it does. He pulls me into him with his arms, I instantly feel the warth on his chest and move my arm up, holding onto his Navy blue tee shirt with my petiet fingers. When he pulls me in, I feel safe. I could stay like this forever, never leaving his side, always in his embrace, but i can't. I can't trust anybody. I pull away, even though i don't want to, theres a small matter of the rest of the day to get on with, you can't stand and hug the one you love all day. As much as you want too, you can't. I look up, i can see in his eyes he didn't want to let go either. I walk away, going to the window and leaning against the window ledge. It's silent. Somebody should break the silence, and as i'm about to, he breaks it first.

"I just.." he takes a moment, probably to sort out the random words in his head into a sentence. Oliver was never the brightest bulb in the box. " I just don't understand,Tara. You're so on and off, all the time. One minute your all over me, next, you want to be as far away from me as possible." He takes another moment, then walks over to my bed, sitting down and scratching his head. I turn around, not really sure what to do. I've never been in this situation before. I love him. But i tell myself i can't. What i do next, i had no control over. My mind and heart say two different things, y mind is telling me i shouldn't, i've been hurt too many times to take anymore risks, but my heart says go for it, that i'm sure he is te one, he wont hurt me. I walk forward, to stand in front of him. I take his hand, helping him up off the bed and take a deep breath, this is exactly what i want i tell myself, over and over. I stand on my very tip toes, getting closer to him and putting my arms around his neck. I feel his arms warily find their place around my waist as i left myself up to as far as i can go. I feel his lips press against mine. His soft,moist lips, they were everything i expected them to be. They even taste how i imagined, sweet, like cherries. We stand there for a few moments, until my feet start hurting and he tightens his grip around me, taking some of the pressure from my toes. I don't want to pull away, neither does he, but we both know we have too, I pull away slightly, letting him know that its now over. I keep myhead down slightly, my eyes still closed and my mouth open. My tongue brushes the top of my lips, taking in the flavour from his lips one last time. I look up at him, thinking i  should say something snappy, but all that comes out is

" Do you understand now?"