Knitting Fate (Canon Patchworking with Uchiha Ren Part II)

Twenty-Third Thread

"That's what people do who love you. They put their arms around you and love you when you're not so lovable."
― Deb Caletti

Ren would really have liked some sort of heads up. Any sort of heads up, to be perfectly honest. It's not like she minds, no, but-

When, after waking up, she makes her way to the kitchen, still in her oversized pajamas printed with cat paws and heads, with her hair in even more disarray than during the day, everything appears as it should. However, as she stands in the kitchen, frying pan in one hand, she glances at the sitting room through the gap between the ceiling and the row of counters... and guess what.

There's Kakashi, giving her his best bullshit eye-smile and a small wave, asking what's for breakfast. Ren, perhaps predictably, blinks once, twice, and then hurls the frying pan at him. It connects with his head in a way that is both beautiful and comical. Ren is proud to admit that she'd kept a completely straight face though the entire thing.

The bastard just deigns to pout at her.

"And here I even went shopping and stocked your fridge!" he whines. "And you throw kitchen utensils at me!"

"Maybe had you started with 'I went shopping' instead of 'what's for breakfast', it could have been avoided," Ren grouches, head half-buried in the fridge as she takes in what's in stock. She really isn't in the mood for anything difficult, so settles for scrambled eggs with sausage and onion.

"Where's the fun in that?" Kakashi shrugs, and Ren rolls her eyes with an exasperated sigh, because he's the one who's supposed to be the adult, "By the way, why would Genma want me to buy half this stuff?"

"Explain half this stuff," Ren huffs, setting the things she taken out on the counter, wetting the knife with cold water and proceeding to dice the onion, wetting the knife a few more times as she goes. It's a neat trick she'd learned that effectively keeps onion fumes from reaching her eyes.

"Sausages," Kakashi grumbles, and then yelps, only barely jerking his hand back when Ren swats at him with its sharp side. "Careful!"

"If you want to touch the food, wash your hands first!" she scolds, pointing the knife at him. "And the sausages are here because I like them, duh."

"But why?" Kakashi whines, and then makes the mistake of bending a bit too low above the chopped onion. He hisses, bringing his hands to his eyes, but Ren stops him before he can start rubbing.

"Press the backs of your palms to your eyes," she sighs, scolding the man like he's a child, and honestly, right now she might just be the most responsible person in the house. It's rather ridiculous, truth be told.

Genma comes somewhere in the middle of Ren calling the kids to breakfast and trying to murder Kakashi with a frying pan, all freshened up and looking better than before, and laughing at Ren's dumb antics. She can't really be mad at him, though, because she does like him; he's pretty awesome and he managed to get Kakashi flailing and sputtering like a cat in water with one sentence.

"Have you been to the hospital?" Genma asks, quirking an eyebrow at Kakashi. Given that Genma actually does look like he'd gotten away from the medics attention – which he most likely did, just dropped by to get his wounds semi-treated and was gone the second they weren't looking – he still sought it out. Kakashi, judging by his state, didn't even bother to go back to wherever he lives to shower and change.

"If you dirtied my new and perfectly clean couch with your dried blood, you will be cleaning my apartment for a month!" Ren hisses, raising her frying pan threateningly.