𝙼𝚘𝚛𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚊𝚗𝚢𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 - 𝚜𝚘𝚕𝚋𝚢

(5)

(( TRIGGER WARNING))
I ran down the street not caring if I miss school I ran down to the dorm and went into the bathroom shutting the door
I grabbed my razor from my pocket I knew this would happen

I slit my wrist about 7 times each wrist I can't live now I don't want to face the world I don't want to face 'him' but he means everything to me I love him he's my life line and I can't do this
I could take my pills and end it all I just would need water and I could be gone forever I could stuff them down my throat and die I could leave this world and face hell I stayed in the bathroom trying to figure out what the hell was going on with myself I love him but he hates me

But if I do kill my self that would mean Sam's nightmare would be coming true.. Is that what he wants?

I got up and opened the door I remembered I got some liquor from a store I know a guy.
I got the toxic drink and gulped it down
-
After a few drinks I heard a banging at the door and someone screaming Sam?
I couldn't even reach the door I was so stoned

"COLBY!?" I heard a voice scream that was Sam definitely

"Go away!" I mumbled "I don't want to see you!" I didn't even know what I was saying anymore the words just flew out of me

"Don't do this I know what your doing in there!" He yelled angry "Colby I'm not worth it I'm a screw up!"
I didn't answer

"Be that way Colby! Just know your not my best friend! I was coming on here to check on you but I guess not!" Ye yelled and I heard him storm out

What have I done he really hates me now I ruined things I always do why can't I be a better person..I just need to end it I can't live anymore cause there's no point there really isn't now.

After about a hour of sitting in there I got up finely opening the door and walking out and saw sam's stuff was still there so that's good..

I've never felt so alone like..actually alone with no one where could he have gone anyway? Probably with his new friends and shit
Blah

Well..I'm alone utterly alone I don't know what to do now I've always had Sam to keep me company and to help me get through things like this but now I have no one

I sighed and looked at my arms old blood plastered on my arms fuck I'll need to clean then before they get infected

I washed them with a towel and now it's just cuts I looked down at them how dumb am I really fucking dumb I need mental help I'll take my pills.

Without Sam I'm kinda forgetting how to do normal people things like drinking water without him I feel like I have lost a part of myself, I put the pills in my mouth and swallowed. I'm numb like when your foot falls asleep everything sounds echoey and far away
I sat there for a minute and saw the door crack open and I feel to the floor then it all went black