*Okay guys, I'm going to try to not make this very graphic. It's going to be short; I don't like to think about it, let alone want to write about it in detail. And the people who know who I'm talking about, probably don't wanna read it either. So, if you don't wanna read about my hot and heavy moments, Just skip this chapter, and any chapter that has this little talk thing at the top. ANYWAY, enjoy the awkward, I guess.*
We stepped into the door of Cyrus's hunting cabin. It was beautiful on the inside, but looked like a shady shack on the outside. I walked around the small place slowly, taking in my surroundings. It smelled like the woods, nothing really special. In the middle of the one room, but the living room area, there was a ladder that led up to an upper level that had 4 beds on it. Only one bed had a blanket on it and one pillow. There were mattresses stacked in one corner of the room (for the other 3 beds), and a tabel with six wooden chairs around it on the other side of the room.
"It's nice in here," I said, turning to smile at him.
"It'd be nicer with your clothes on the floor."
I blushed and looked down at the floor. He walked over to me slowly, put his hand on the side of my face, and kissed me softly. He walked me backwards, and pushed me up against the closest wall. The kisses were getting more aggressive and sloppier. He pulled off my shirt and shorts. The whole time he was struggling with my bra, I just felt awkward. I didn't feel comfortable; I felt very self-conscious. He was going to be the first person to see me naked. Oh god, I was so not ready for this. I knew I wasn't; I just wanted to get it over with.
Before I knew it, we were up the ladder and both on the bed. Naked. We kinda just laid there looking at each other for a while. I'd never seen a naked guy before, and I wasn't impressed. He sat up and grabbed a condom from his pants. Then he kissed me from head to toe, and asked, "Ready?"
I didn't have time to answer before he was already having his way with me. I thought it was supposed to be pleasurable. Instead, it just hurt. Nothing about it felt good to me. It didn't last very long, and afterwards my whole body was numb. I wanted to take it back. It didn't feel right. It wasn't special. I didn't feel any different. I just lost my virginity in a hunting cabin with my pushy boyfriend at 15 because I felt pressured to do so. I felt..guilty.
