I Do

Chapter 39 - Only You

Lauren’s Point of View

The conference room is quiet, heavy with the breathing exchanged from both of our mouths. Salty tears course down my cheeks and I try to hide my face from Zack because I know if he notices he will stop holding me. 

His arms around me ensures safety; it always has. Anything bad to happen to me since knowing him happened when he wasn’t holding me. 

Charlie kicked for the first time when he held me at my apartment. 

It started snowing when he carried me into the house in the Hampton's. 

There are many more examples of all the good that has come out of his embrace, and even more when it has not been there. "Lauren?" he asks, his voice rumbling in his chest and vibrating against me. 

"Yeah?" I am reluctant to speak, afraid he will hear my tears. 

"Why didn't you send back my ring?" 

It felt like my heart stopped in my chest. “Why do you think?” I choke out, finding it hard to breathe all of a sudden. I pull my head from his body, immediately regretting it but forcing the pain down. It’s physically painful to be apart from him. Even for a second. 

Six Months Earlier

I let my hand drop from my face’s height, holding the letter in my hand still. I feel so afraid. He did just what I did. He wrote me a letter telling me how much he loved me and what he needed me to do. Except, I doubted he’d ever read mine. 

I pick the ring up between my index and thumb, letting the light catch it. This time, faced with it, I feel an ache. Not to run. But to be as close to something of his as I can. 

I don’t know what to do. My father is never going to let me go now that I’ve come back home. He thinks that I’m back for good. He’s already talking about getting a place for Charlie and I a few streets away. Even he knows that I won’t stay in this house forever, he’s just too hopeful that it will still be in Texas and not where I came from. 

I cradle the three objects; the envelope, ring and letter tighter in my grasp. Every thump of my heart convinces me even more of what I’ve lost. I know how badly I screwed up back there. I wish with all my might that I hadn’t, it wasn’t fair of me to scream those bloody horrible accusations and mistruths when all he ever did was be the best person I’ve ever been able to know. 

And ever let go before he left on his own. 

But now I feel like I know he won’t do that. I feel like his letter proves that, now more than ever. 

Getting up from my bed, I search through my drawers until I find the jewelry box I had as a child. Sorting through brooches and pins and bracelets, I find a necklace not too dear to me that I feel the need to keep it around and unhook the clasp, slipping the pendant off of it. Retreating back to my mattress, I pick up the ring and slowly thread it onto the chain. 

Now I can have it with me, always, until he finds me. 

I begin to slip the necklace, now charmed with Zack’s engagement ring, round my neck but a knock at the door makes my hand jerk and the diamond encrusted in the ring presses to my neck. 

“Ouch!” I cry, my hand flying to the wound, now bleeding profusely. At the same time Beth walks in. She observes my pained expression and the blood dampening my fingers and flees from the room, returning a few moments later with toilet paper and rubbing alcohol. Quickly, I hide my necklace underneath my leg before she can see what caused my injury.