To say I hated change would be an absolute and utter understatement. In fact, I despised it. The harshness of it, the cold miserable melancholy etched on the faces of so many passers by as they made their way to work and back home. There was hardly ever any joy or frivolity. If any glimmer of happiness was shown it was merely a pretence done/completed with a fabricated frozen smile, a well orchestrated mask, a "kiss kiss'" and on occasion a pathetically weak and feeble handshake or hug.
The myriad of faces in society almost remained as frozen as ours, the only difference was they, the general population aged and we did not. We forever remained at the age we were made, turned and created, frozen in it. We did not require botox, facial fillers, cosmetic or plastic surgery. We were beautiful, flawless, alluring and always charismatic. All in all we were the perfect creatures. Almost beyond perfection.
I had always wanted to remain young and sought out the latest cosmetic products and most advanced medical procedures in the industry/on the market. But now I yearned to grow old, to feel the lines and wrinkles on my face of a life well lived. The joys and sorrows of the abundance/fullness of life and not this unbearable emptiness or the need to devour another's life merely to feel the warmth of a pulsating heart beat.
How I yearned for those years I once relished in the sun and surf. Even for the sand caught in places to unmentionable to speak off. How my friends and I would complain about it. I still even yearned for that. But alas I was forever frozen in an impenetrable mask. So I never understood why one wanted to remain forever young. What I would have given to no longer be a child of Lilitu, wondering aimlessly throughout the centuries.
BlackLilith
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2014
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