Getting Used To Fur and Paws

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Ash's POV

"Okay, you cat! Just sit there and wait for lunch!" (Ash)

"Fine, stupid human!" (Serena)

After I'm done with the naming stuff, which turns out to be very stupid, I walk in the kitchen and start cooking

Oh, I haven't introduced myself as a tradition for this book. Well, let me start again. I'm Ash Ketchum, not Ass Ketchup, okay? Don't believe that fur ball! Oh, and I'm the upcoming author

Now, enough with all the things from the beginning, let's get straight to a little summary, okay? I got this cat on the road yesterday, which turned out to be a psycho, hard-head loli. After tortured her and made her vomit rainbow, I named her Burondoneko, which sounds like a name for a male cat but I don't f***ing care.

Oh, and also, I think I've turned into a villain "thanks" to what I did in the last chapter

But let's put aside that stuff and talk about right now, okay? For lunch today, I decided to make some salad and grilled fish, because it's good for your brain (and also somehow help you get rid of your psycho personality, as what I'll do for "the one")

Beside, I'm a very polite and handsome guy. If any guest decides to stay at my place, I should treat them properly. See? Find a villain that can be like me

Oh, while I'm chopping carrot, I just think of something.

According to some of the fanfics or movies I know, usually anyone from other planet or any stupid place outer space that falls down to this place may have a mission to bring peace or to "fix" someone. I can find some similarities in Serena when she appears in this planet

However, I doubt it.

From some Anime I've watched, I've learned a lesson: Any goddess appears in this despicable planet called "Earth" will have the most pathetic and saddest life ever

Let me give some examples. Demon King becomes an employee in a fast food restaurant, and a god of calamity becomes a joke and his main jobs is cleaning someone's house

You see? So judging from Serena, we can make a conclusion that she will shorten the days to apocalypse and turn Earth into ashes of the universe, so don't talk about "fixing" me or bringing peace

Wait, so why does she have to come down here while she can enjoy her life as a wealthy princess?

Nah, I shouldn't worry about that. I mean, how dreadful it can be?

"ASH!" (Serena)

"OH MY LOLI GOD!"

Serena's POV (finally, huh?)

"ASH!" (Serena)

"OH MY LOLI GOD!" (Ash)

I call Ash, and he trips himself, with a spoon fall onto his head

"YOU PSYCHO, WHAT DO YOU NEED!?" Ash asks me, then I look at him with the most serious face I can make

"... I just want to ask..."

"Ask what?" Ash looks at me and seems to understand what I'm about to ask

"How old are you, stupid human?" I ask him and there is an awkward silence between us, with a crow flying on his head, pooping out three dots

"That's it?" (Ash)

"Yeah, that's it!"

"So it's not about Earth's fate or upcoming villains, that's it?" He asks me and I nod, make his face has a pissed off looking

"Don't you know it's very uncomfortable to ask about a boy's age?" He says and rubs his nose

Isn't that what women usually say?

"Well... All I need to know is your age! That's it, stupid human!"

"Okay, but don't put that 'stupid human' in the end!"

"Fine... Stupid-human-san!" I tell him and let out a grin, make he look at me like he wants to eat me or something

He crosses his arms and thinks for a moment. Oh for the love of Arceus, just answer already!

"19. I'm 19."Ash says

"Wow, now that's... surprising..."

"What do you mean?"

"Well... looking at you, I thought you're a 10-year-old"

"Have you seen any 10-year-old that has a freakin apartment!?"

"Of course I haven't! I haven't been there for 3 days or something!"

Oh crap, I made a mistake!

"... 3 days?" Ash asks me and I start sweating

"Okay, that's good to know." He says and turns back to his kitchen stuff. I sigh in relief

Well, now, I have to introduce myself, don't I?

My name is Serena Gabena Yvonne, and I'm 16. Yeah, 16! I'm a princess from the-planet-that-I-can't-even-spell-its-name. Oh, and I have a reason to come to Earth

Well... uh... I came here to help this stupid and pathetic human to have a better life, so yeah, I'm not a troublemaker or something. Oh, and just a reminding, I'm the main character! Yeah, I will be invincible if I keep that role!

Just look at how badass I am in the cover, and you'll see!

Anyway, I think from now on you can get forget about all of those Anime girls and look at me, the upcoming "best girl"! So I don't want to see any of you shouting "Nao iz da bezt" like that stupid author named Jay!

I think I might have broken that fourth wall, but guess what? I don't care!

Anyway, this is just a short POV for me. But I'll talk to you someday, readers!

Ash's POV

While I'm watching Serena talking to herself, I've done with the food. I just need to decorate these things

By the way, why did she tell me I look like a 10-year-old!? Oh god, why!?

When I was at school, I was jealous at all my friends. At the age of 15, they already had a moustache, while the best I could get was a single piece of hair on my chin

Now I have a full moustache, but I'm still triggered when my friends have beards and moustaches like Abraham Lincoln! Gaah! Life...!

"Ash, why do you keep talking to yourself?" Serena walks to me and asks "innocently"

"Uh... nothing!" I say. Then I see her looking around my place, especially the ceiling I hung her on yesterday

"To be honest, your house looks pathetic (just like you)" She tells me and those words strike my black heart

"At least don't speak it out loud, for god sake!" I tell her, hiding my tears deep inside of me. "Why don't you find something to read?"

Serena then goes to the bookshelves and searches for something. Then she comes back to me and tells the "result"

"Manga, manga, manga, and a "How to have a girlfriend without losing any blood?" book. Sad life..." (Serena)

My heart so hurts, man...

Why didn't I bury all of them earlier, for god sake?

"You just shattered my heart into pieces twice, you know that?"

"Well, I don't know" She says and turns around, blows out some air which she thinks that's a whistle

I turn back to my work and finish my decoration. So I arrange them on the table and call her. And that's a boring way to end this chapter but oh well.

Kamisama, thank you for granting my wish! (Kind of)

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