2015
Harry Styles P.O.V
Unbelievable. Zayn decided to leave us in the middle of the tour. We know it's his life, his decision but.. it just.. hard for us. All i want to do is keep doing my best for the fans, trying to hide my feelings in front of them.
"Dude, get over it.. he's gone. We have to accept the fact. We already talk about this, right?" Niall said to me
"Yeah man.. just see what will we do next. Live a little Hazzz" Louis smiled to me
"Yeah.. it's not that easy guys. But thanks! I'll try." I smiled to them.
When i was on the plane on my way to Johannesburg from Jakarta, there was a text message from someone i know. Someone who always have my heart. Someone who never fails to put a smile on my face. My ex-girlfriend, my muse, Kendall Jenner.
K: hey, I've heard. U ok? Tell me.
H: hi, thanks ken. I'm ok.. i guess. Don't worry about me. How about you btw? It surprised me when i saw your name on my screen.
K: come on, styles. I know when you're lying. Of couse i worry about you, i know exactly you're so close with him. Remember when u said 'ken, if there's something u want to tell me, just tell me, I'm available for u, always.' I just want to do the same thing. I'm doing ok btw.
H: yeah.. how could i forget? The night when we decided to end our relationship.. the worst night ever. I can still feel the pain. But i'm okay ken, at least i try.
K: hazzz.. don't talk about it. But well, if you say so... ok.. i just want you to know you can tell me everything. Like when i tell you about my dad's transition, my family problem, you always there for me. It's been a while since the last time we talked.
H: i know it. I always know. Thank you Kendall, it means a lot.
I knew it, she didn't reply. But what can i expect? There she is everybody, Kendall Nicole Jenner. The most beautiful girl in the world besides my mom and Gemma. I'm not talking about her face, well we all know how beautiful she is. But there's something else, something that always move my heart everytime i think about her. She has a very beautiful heart, a soft soul, that could calm my heart and my soul too. Everybody acted like they know her, because you know.. her family. But they all wrong, she inspired me to be a better person, her shine could make everything better. Trust me.
I kept thinking about her until i arrived at Johannesburg Airport, i step an elevator. I lost my mind for a while.. then there she was. Smile at me. Yeah, you're getting nuts, Harry. It just her Estee Lauder's billboard. She starring at me, oh man don't be stupid, she starring at everyone. Idiot. I talked to myself like an idiot.
God, how could she do that to me? One text message from her could ruined everything that i build. The wall that i build between us. Trust me, i always try. One text message from her bring back the memories, that feeling when i'm so in love with one person. Thanks Kendall, you made me forget about Zayn stuff for a while. Maybe that's why i can't stop loving you, because even in my worst condition, you always find a way to keep lighting me up.
What did you say, Harry? Fu*king finally! You admitted it to yourself. So cheesy but i mean what i said, every word of it. Ok stop. What did i do?
"Hey! Hazzaaaa!!! Man!" Liam's voice brought me back to the real world. Shit. We already arrived in our hotel room and i keep thinking about her the whole time? Kendall Jenner, you are some woman.
"Whh...at? Zzup man?" I said to him
"Are you here, bro? We're talking about the new album. You know just us, without the management. From heart to heart. Any thoughts?" Liam said to me. Yeah the new album, Zayn supposed to be involved in that album. We began produce the album in late 2014. But things happen and no one could stop it.
"Yeah... i'm here. So, what will we do next?" I asked them
"You think about her, didn't you? Kendall? Because there's a huge pic of her in the airport. You are so weak, Harold" Niall confronts me. Shit. He could read my mind, as always.
"What? Let's talk about us, shall we?" Good Hazza, change the subject.
"Typical" Niall said to me "so.. what will we do next? More tour? More album?"
"I don't know, Man. It doesn't feel right." These words just came up from my mouth
"What do you mean, Haz?" Louis asked me
"I mean... Zayn leave us. I never expected that, you know? It will only the matter of time till... let's say Niall leave us, or you Liam, or Louis, or maybe...me"
"What? Don't even think about it." Liam said to me
"He's right" Niall said to us "i mean, we'll never know what happen next. No body will. You guys are part of my beautiful memories. I want to keep it that way. You know, things with Zayn is not that good, right? I mean, not about him as a person.. but for our memories"
There's a silence in our hotel room after Niall talked
"So.. what's your point, Niall?" Louis break the silence
"Let's take a break after we're done with the album" i said it briefly. It's hard you know? I love them. I love my fans. But Niall was right, we have to do it for the sake of our memories.
"For how long?" Liam asked me
"I don't know.. i mean, let's see what life can give us. We have a different tastes of music, passion, and let's see how we live with it." I answered him
"Yeah.. i got your point. I agree with you both. You know i'm sad.. but in this circumtances, i think this is the best option." Louis talked to us
"So... what can i say then? Let's talk to management tomorrow and see what we got." Liam finished our conversation.
Yeah, that album. I hope she noticed it. Shit. Everything in my life reminds me of her. Even for the new album that nothing to do with her except i wrote some songs for her. I shook my head. Unbelievable. Unbelievable.
