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My dead boyfriend's brothers.
Chapter 5
The moment my arms were around him I regretted doing it but it was too late. He hugged me back causing emotions I didn't recognize or understand to flare up inside of me. I pulled out of the hug cursing myself under my breath and turned away feeling embarrassed.
"I'm just going to go put these away before the other people start arriving" I said and headed upstairs. I threw the tickets on my bedside table and fell down on my bed as tears tried to escape my eyes. I was about to give up on trying to hold in the tears when I heard the doorbell ring again.
I knew Ryan was downstairs and would welcome my guests but I also knew it would be rude not to do it myself so I ran downstairs. I really wanted to change out of this dress but it was too late as all the kids from school started arriving. I only invited about twenty five people but they obviously took it into their own hands to invite their friends because soon my house was full of kids from school and some I have never even seen before.
The music was pumping loud and everybody seemed to be having fun. Kids were dancing on the make shift dance floor in the living room and drinking the soda's and alcohol. Ryan looked a bit out of place as he was older than the other kids but he didn't seem to mind. He didn't mingle with them, instead he stood posed against the wall drinking a beer and watching my every move.
I know I invited him and I felt a bit guilty for not keeping him company but I had to welcome everybody and pretend to be a good host. I checked the time wondering where Ethan was, it was nine o'clock and there was still no sign of him. I walked over to the last group of kids that arrived and talked to them for a few minutes before deciding that the party had now officially started and that I had done my duty as host.
I walked over to the stereo and waited for the song to end figuring I was going to change the music to something more upbeat.
"Why don't you play this?" I heard a familiar voice ask and looked up to see Ryan standing next to me. I took the cd from him wondering what it was but didn't recognize it.
"Trust me they'll like it" He said before I could ask so instead of arguing I pushed in the cd and pressed play.
I still didn't know what it was but it sounded ok and the kids seemed to like it so I left it to play figuring that is all that mattered anyway. The first few songs on the cd was fast and fun but then it changed to a more romantic slow song and I watched in awe as couples linked their bodies and slowly starting swaying to the music.
"May I have this dance?" Ryan asked walking over to me and holding his hand out. I wanted to scream no and run away but instead I took his hand and he pulled me up from the couch and led me to the middle of the living room floor.
I just stood there not sure what to do because my mind was telling me one thing but my heart was telling me something else. I knew it was Ryan and not Bret but my heart wanted so badly to feel Bret's touch again that when Ryan slipped his arms around my waste and pulled me closer I didn't object. Instead I placed my arms around his neck, closed my eyes and pretended that it was Bret holding me.
I knew this was only going to cause me more pain but I couldn't get myself to stop as the memories of me and Bret together flooded my mind. I was so absorbed in the memories that I didn't even realize what was happening until it was too late.
I felt his hand leave my waste but I didn't expect what happened next. He lightly traced his hand down my face and then cupped my chin with his hand pulling my face up so that I was looking at him. That is when I realized how close our bodies were and how tightly I was holding him.
He smiled that same amazing smile that Bret had always smiled at me and leaned forward pressing his lips against mine. His lips were soft and inviting against mine but as the kiss grew faster and more intense my mind finally took over. I pulled away looking away from him and in the direction of the front door. I didn't want to see the confused look that was sure to be on his face but instead I looked right into the hurt expression on Ethan's face.
I didn't understand the violent pain that shot through my body as I saw the pained expression on his face but I instantly knew I had to fix it. As he realized that I had seen him he turned around and disappeared into the dark. I'm not sure if Ryan saw his brother or understood what was happening as I pulled out of his arms and took off running after Ethan but it didn't matter at that moment.
I pushed through the kids and ran out of the house as fast as I could scanning the area to see where Ethan had disappeared to but I didn't see him anywhere. I ran back into the house and up the stairs to get my car keys and then ran back outside and jumped into my car. I got a few questioning looks as I ran and pushed through the kids but my only concern was to get to Ethan and make things right.
I jumped into my car and managed to get it out of the driveway without bumping or scratching any of the other cars. I sped off towards his house and came to a screeching stop in his driveway as I slammed on the brakes. I ran up to the front door and pounded on it. It took a few seconds before anybody opened and by the look that was on Ethan's mother's face I could see she wasn't up for company. She had a huge black bruise covering her right eye and there was a half empty bottle of Vodka on the table.
I didn't bother asking her if Ethan was home, instead I ran past her and up the stairs wanting to get to him as soon as possible.
The music was deafening as I ran down the hall and to his room. I was about to knock when I saw his door wasn't locked so instead I pushed it open revealing Ethan sitting on the floor. He had a razor in his hand and blood was running down his arms.
