His Illness

Chapter Two

I was running around the compound, I had to bring some things with me, since it would take some time to get to the infirmary Souji was put in because of me. I definitely needed water with me, mostly for myself, though perhaps he would like some as well. I would assume the infirmary had water available, but I haven't been there yet- stupidly so.
So I took some extra with me just in case, he did cough a lot after all.
Honestly I didn't need more than that,  I didn't nees more for myself atleast. On the way there I did stop by to buy Souji a good present. I believe dango would be appropriate, since he seemed to like it so much.

Now that I was all set, I could finally go see him. I wasn't anywhere near but I felt my heart beat against my chest. Was Souji really going to be glad to see him? Probably not- we've always had a confusing relationship.  Everyone knew we love each other to a certain extent. But no one knew how deep it went, and that makes me insecure. He doesn't know what I feel, and I have absolutely no idea what he feels for me. All I know is that he really knows how to get under my skin.

It took a while, but I managed to travel savely. There the little building was, I saw it, and it made my insecurities bubble up once again. My eyes inspected the infirmary carefully. I just realised. I have no idea where Souji is at the moment. Somewhere inside I assumed, he couldn't be sitting outside, right? Then again- it is Souji we are talking about. He is the king of doing things he shouldn't be doing. I shook my head disaprovingly just at the thought of him misbehaving even in this situation.
Maybe I should look outside first. With that thought, I decided to take a walk around the building. And of course, as much as I hoped it wouldn't be. A brunet man was sitting outside in the grass, enjoying the fresh air, a loose, white yukata around his wide frame, so loose that it had slid down his shoulder who knows how long ago.
God, he looked absolutely terrible. His usually sharp features were sunken in, and his skin was ghostly pale, it was almost hard to believe that this was once a cunning warrior. But it most certainly was, as I snuck towards the man sitting in the grass, I saw those beautiful emerald eyes of his, eyes that despite the horrid condition he was in, did not lose their shine. Was he perhaps still holding on to hope?

I felt the terrible urge to embrace him, but I refrained from doing so. I cleared my throat.
'Souji.' With the sound of my voice filling the air around us, he looked up. Those strikingly green orbs staring up at me in something that had to be confusion- or surprise. But a stupid grin warped on his face quite a while after. 'Hijikata-san? Why are you here? Don't you have anything important to do?'
It may have sounded like a normal question, but I know Souji. His voice had a sarcastic tone to it. What he really meant was that he didn't even want me to be here, he asked why he was worth my time.
I didn't feel like responding to the stupid questions. So I sat down next to him quietely with crossed legs. What was I supposed to say now? Souji wasn't talking at all, the one time I wanted him to talk. He was quiet. God this man was a pain in the ass.
It took me minutes to come up with a lame question.
'... Is the fresh air doing you any good? Are you feeling better?' I asked, my head turning so I could look at his rather sad looking face.

'Do I look any better, Hijikata-san? I know your soul is corrupted but surely your eyes are not. You know I look like shit. It hasn't helped.. Yet. I might as well stayed at the compound, I could have done something useful.' His bitter words made my hands clench into fists, he always has been a gloomy character, but I liked it better when it was concealed by jokes and sarcasm. His pessimism was pissing me off, so I hit him on the back of his head.
'Stop your self pity! If I didn't send you up here you would have died for nothing. Be grateful for once and stop complaining. Atleast try to get better. Once you are, you can go back. So hurry up and stop being sick.' I barked back, deep wrinkles formed between my eyebrows. I saw an expression of shock wash over Souji's face for a split second. Good, atleast that provoked some kind of reaction. His face was directed to mine all this time, but now he looked away and down at the ground, I tilted my head and bowed down slightly to look at him. A sad smile was gracing his face, he looked broken. And it broke my heart in a million pieces.
'You're right. Sorry about that~ I guess being alone all the time makes even me a little gloomy~' And the sincerity was gone, he looked at me with a grin again. It made me sigh heavily and I massaged my temples, trying to keep my annoyance level low-ish. As low as it could be when in the company of Souji Okita.
'After all.' Souji continued. 'No one is visiting me, you know! Hijikata-san~' He whined, I rose a brow, I had no idea where he was going with this. 'I've been longing for company so long, I was so lonely!' My eyes narrowed, was he finally going to say that he appreciated me going out of my way to get here? Some kind of hope filled my heart. 'But I was hoping Chizuru-chan would be visiting me.' I felt my eye twitch in irritation. I pursed my lips together and clenched my fists. Why was I even hoping he would be nice to me? He has always been like this.
I shot up and dropped the dango I picked up for him on his lap.
'Then I'll go.' I growled, I glared at him, and Souji very much looked like he realised he messed up. I suppressed a victorious smile and walked away with big steps. Waiting for him to call after me. I knew he would. Even Souji had a heart, kind of.

But it never came, his voice didn't reach my ears, instead I heard something a lot less pleasant. Raspy coughs, so loud they were loud and clear from where I stood, and I was already a few good meters away from him. I spun on my heels in panick, and swiftly made my way back to him. Now standing infront of the coughing man. He covered his mouth with one hand and he was hunched over.
'S-Souji?!' I called out to him, I had no idea what to do, I don't think there was anything I could really do. I could only be there for him.
'Go away.' He said, trying to scoot away with all his might, but beimg too weak to really do so. I stayed, came even closer, and he was in no situation to protest.
Souji's free hand grasped my clothes, startling me slightly. I decided to bring him to his room. The strangled coughs seemed to get louder with every cough. It wouldn't take long until he would start to bleed, I knew that. I couldn't talk, but it seemed like he understood what I was trying to do when my arms moved around him, his went around my neck, and carefully I lifted him up like a damsel in distress, not that he was far from that at the moment.
I stormed into the nearest room, hoping that it would be the right one. I figured it was, since I heard no protests from the man in my arms. Softly I placed him down on the futon, the coughing seemed to die down, finally.  I clicked my tongue and placed my hands on both sides of his cheeks, there was blood on the corner of his mouth and I wiped it away with my purple sleeve.

'Well that didn't go according to plan.' Souji said, even after this he was still able to bring himself up to chuckle, I didn't know how he did it.
'What I wanted to say.. Don't leave just yet.'