His Illness

Chapter One

How many days ago was it when I told Souji he wasn't allowed to get out of his bed anymore?
For how long has he been bedridden by now?
It hurt so much when I had to send him up there, to forbid him to do what he loved to do, it was cruel. But what was I supposed to do? Let him die? Of course I missed him. I missed him so much. And sometimes I wished I had no sent him away, but I did what a man should do, and that is to take care of his loved ones.
It was hard, he looked so mad, he was mad, hell he probably still is, I hope he can forgive me. I did it because I cannot lose him. Even though Souji isn't aware of that yet. Perhaps I will confess to him one day. But that day is not today.

My short nails made a relaxing tapping sound on the wood of the small desk I was working at. For once I didn't have to do the work of the scary Demon Vice Commander. I could just be Toshizou Hijikata, working on a haiku.
A haiku that by the way, wasn't really going as good as I planned, so bad that I eventually decided to give up.
I layed down flat on my back with a sigh, I wasn't necessarily bored, I just didn't know what to do. I honestly wanted to look him up. See how he was doing, but it somehow scared me, his possible reaction scared me. Knowing Souji, he was going to be cold and angry, or the complete opposite and he'd just be annoying.

Contemplating what I should do, I was just staring up at the ceiling. My mind was blank. I sighed, should I just do it? Got nothing to lose, right?
Alright. Tomorrow. Tomorrow I will look him up, it'll be quite the walk, so for now I should just rest up and prepare, the man I will find in the infirmary, will most definitely not be the man that I've known for over a decade. He'll be in a bad condition, I can't afford to lose my cool when I see him.

I stood up, now finally back on my feet. I wonder if I should get something nice for Souji. Or should I buy that tomorrow? Maybe I should make it myself.
But I can't really cook. I couldn't help but hit myself over the head. I wouldn't leave until another few hours, if not half a day, and was already having internal fights. I really should just calm down and sleep for a bit, and with that thought, I walked to my futon and carelessly threw myself on it head first. My head was overflowing with thoughts and possible scenarios with how our meeting would be, we haven't seen each other for a long time. It could go very well, it could also go disastrous. After worrying for what seemed like an enternity, I finally fell into a light sleep. That's what I'm assuming anyway, since I woke up when the sun came up.