raxeira [on hold]

intermission: some letters

definition of raxeira: a girl, not a goddess, and hardly someone to be admired

"my ghost where'd you go? what happened to the soul you used to be?"

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hi. it's raxeira. i know you'll never open this letter and i . . . guess you have every right to not look at it, but i'd just like you to know that i miss you. i was truly your friend, did you know that? i saw you as my best friend that i could talk to and i'm sad we ended on such bad terms.

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raxeira. i don't know what else you want from me, but i no longer want to associate myself with you. we could hardly be considered friends in the past. in fact, i don't think you saw me as a friend at all, but someone new that you could play with. do not deny this. i can't believe i idolized you once, and saw you as someone that could help me.

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i can help you! please! listen to me, raven boy, i am your friend. 

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if you can make your pretty words change my fate, please go ahead and do so. but i see it now. it might have tasted sweet, but what you have fed me is poison.

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i don't understand. why are you suddenly acting like this? i see. how is it, in any way, my fault that the lolitas' house burned down? it's not my fault, and it isn't yours. it isn't anyone's and you need to stop blaming yourself.

and you need to stop blaming me. i am your friend. i'm hurt that you no longer want me in your life.

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you're hurt??? i'm hurt that you saw me as a game, this whole time. thanks for that.

speaking of blame, you're right. it isn't your fault. and you say it isn't my fault. then whose fault is it? fate??? destiny??? god??? for being born into a life in which all i do is cause harm? then i curse my fate. i curse myself, this vessel that only brings tragedy to everything he touches. it's the new generation of midas. i turn everything not to gold, but to mold.

and at the end. you still don't understand, do you?

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A / N  : so, i know i've been gone for quite a long time. it was february since i last touched this piece, and i haven't worked on it since. there was just so much going on and so much things i had to adjust to, and at the end of it all, i seem to have forgotten how to write. but here i am, trying and trying again. thank you to those who have stayed. i have not forgotten you and your kind words and i hope that my writing will still continue to touch you.

up above is the lovely cover that isha (ellipcess) made for me. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH ISHAAAA!!