Quantum Parenting

Quantum Parenting. Part 4 - The Peculiar Acoustics of the Little Boy's Room

Part 4 – The Peculiar Acoustics of the Little Boy’s Room

I wonder if anyone has ever recorded an album in a toilet (washroom)?

You carry on reading this if you think you’re up to it, I’m going to nip out and have a quick wander through Google…

61.            The phrase “I’ve finished!” has the capability to echo for miles due to the peculiar acoustics found only in toilets.

62.            Small children do not get bored of watching the same DVD over and over again, but will switch allegiance to another film or series without warning or reason, usually just after you’ve bought a replacement for the one they’ve just worn out.

63.            Children like public or restaurant toilets and will visit as often as possible when out of the house, and usually just as the next (hot) course of the meal you’re eating arrives on the table.

64.            The death of a pet often has far more impact on a child than the death of a relative.

65.            Batteries in really annoying toys rarely get replaced, but seem to last for years if not forever.

We had a haunted dolls house at home for many years, and the batteries are still going well over six years later.

It was a noisy thing with lots of buttons inside that made different sounds like the washing machine, phone and of course a flushing toilet (mind you I’ve never seen a dolls house with an outside privy). It was the epitome of domestic bliss in extruded plastic. After a few years of hard use though it developed a slight fault and the toilet used to flush itself at random moments, usually at about 2am or just as the film went quiet and the killer was about to strike.

After my father suggested that perhaps we could let them have a few old toys at their place that the kids could play with when they came over, I’m afraid my sense of complete bastardness overcame my morals and now my parents place is treated to occasional random nocturnal flushings. My mother is slightly deaf, so it only affects my dad.

Kids are always evil, even when they’re 38 =]

66.            Kids love bubbles.

67.            Balloons are for popping, not decoration, until the age of about eleven when the Helium balloons are for breathing in and sounding like Mickey Mouse or someone who’s just had his testicles located by a four year old’s foot.

68.            The word “oops” is a harbinger of doom.

69.            Boys are very proud of their willies if they are under six.

70.       Spectacles and expensive sunglasses are toys to anyone under two.

71.       Dressing up the family cat must be attempted at least once.

72.       All children have tried cat / dog food.

73.       All men have a mental age of somewhere between five and fifteen (usually five and ten, although I suspect I’m giving myself a few years leeway).

74.       Kids can make up a song about anything.

This was proven in spectacular style by my youngest nephew (aged about five at the time) who was wandering round the house singing a song. As he came closer to the small group of adults who were gathered in the kitchen (the natural gathering place of anyone with a glass of wine in their hands), the words of the made up song set to a jaunty, but repetitive, little tune came drifting down the corridor -