Skinny Love [ON HOLD]

Chapter 6

We walked for a little while longer but James needed a pee break so we stopped again, only this time in a grassy field surrounded by some bushes. Davy stood facing away from one of the bushes so James could lean on his shoulder while he peed. I would’ve done it but Davy insisted, saying it was a ‘man thing’. Instead, I was sat on the grass drawing in my sketchbook with Miles who was lying down on his side and Bill who had just poured us some tea.

“Biscuits” Bill smiled at the half digestive in his hand “Great on their own but once they get dipped in tea they become a whole different journey” he carefully held the digestive in his tea before taking it out and biting the soft mushy side. Miles and I smirked. I absolutely love Bill, not like I love James of course, oh god no. I love Bill like he was my dorky brother because sometimes he just says the strangest yet wonderful things.

I could hear Davy mumbling far in front of us about how whenever James needs the toilet, he seems to need it too so he’s peeing a lot more than he used to which is strange seeing as he’s not drinking more at which point James told him to ‘shut the fuck up’. I wasn’t really concentrating on the other boys’ conversation until Bill mentioned something about Miles’ book.

I’ve already told you that Miles’ dad died when we were sixteen but he was also a writer, made Miles and James want to be writers actually. James once told me that he always had the pressure of time with his writing; too much of it then and too little of it now. But Miles seemed to have all the time in the world and I often used to see him writing when I was his girlfriend.

Oh yeah, probably should’ve mentioned that. I used to date Miles. We were twenty two when we got drunk and had sex. It was supposed to be a fling, one night stand, but for some reason we kept spending the night together until eventually we said fuck it, and started dating properly. We broke up three years ago because I realised he had a thing for Chloe, James’ sister, and Miles said someone else he knew had a thing for me, though I never found out who it was.

Anyway, I knew he was writing something but he never told me what, all I knew was that he finished it a couple of months after we broke up. You might be thinking that it’s now weird between us but it’s not, if anything Miles and I dating made our friendship stronger because it eliminated the ‘are they gonna have sex?’ factor that everyone kept bringing up ever since we turned sixteen.

“How’s your book coming along?” Bill repeated the question because Miles hadn’t heard him the first time.

“Oh I gave up on it, couldn’t be arsed” Miles lied easily and I gave him a look which he ignored.

“You should just write a diary about banging Chelsea chicks” Bill suggested and I nearly choked on my tea. Bill, however, didn’t seem to notice. Miles did.

“I’m finally bored of meaningless sex” he muttered back.

“Bollocks” Bill smirked, thinking Miles was being sarcastic. Somehow I knew he wasn’t though, which made me think about who it was that had changed Miles’ view on relationships. I suppose that’s the only thing that really came out of us dating. Miles and I are the only ones who can tell when the other is lying or when something is wrong. After James and Davy had finished peeing they came back over to us and Bill attempted to fix the cart wheel. It didn’t go well.

In the end Bill and Davy had to carry the cart while I supported James and Miles did fuck all except casually carry Bill’s tree. He was starting to annoy me actually, though I don’t why seeing as I expected nothing less than for Miles to completely act like James wasn’t ill so he didn’t have to anything to help anyone. I bet we were a right sight though; Davy and Bill carrying a glorified go-kart while Miles strolled along with a tree and James and I hobbled together in front because my ankle was still hurting a little and he was getting more tired.

“Bill I’m just saying, we can stow some of the stuff here and pick it up on the way back” Davy said from behind. I knew he wasn’t going to let this too much weight thing go. Bill sighed for England.

“Well, if you girls hadn’t packed your entire wardrobes” he rolled his eyes back.

“Can I just comment that I only have two bags, one of which I’m carrying” I called to Bill.

“Yeah, well you weren’t supposed to come anyway” Miles mumbled and James stopped walking to glare at him.

“C’mon” I pulled James’ green anorak sleeve and he carried on limping whilst clutching my arm with one hand and pressing down on his walking stick with the other. There was an awkward silence so Miles decided to fill it with a joke, as usual.

“Want to carry this tree for me James?” he asked and we couldn’t help but laugh a little. That’s the most recent tense moment between the three of us over. They seem to keep happening a lot since James got ill, random moments when Miles and James throw an alpha-male bitch fit with each other leaving me casually in the middle.

“How’s work coming along?” James asked Miles in the form of small talk.

“I hate what I do” he replied.

“Course you do” I said with a smile and we walked in silence for a little while longer.

“You writing?” James suddenly looked at Miles.

“I’m so bored with my book Jim, I’m not a writer. I’m an ad man. I’m good at it” he said shortly and that was that, a new tense moment arrived. James liked being called Jim by everyone, but Miles, Davy and Bill are the only ones who really call him that seeing as I’ve known James since we were two and no-one used to call him Jim when we were little so I don’t.

Eventually we made it to the first camp site stop. I’d started a small fire then sat down by a nearby tree, pulling out my drawing pad. I was already halfway through drawing a camp fire from a few weeks ago so I made into the one currently lit in front of me. James was fanning it with his coat and he looked so happy I decided to draw him in my picture too.

“Did you get my short stories I sent you?” James asked Miles who was sat down next to the fire. I noticed an expression of annoyance flash across Miles’ face and I realised he must be getting pretty sick of people bringing up writing.

“Yeah, the one about the biker was great, really great” he replied “The nurse one was bollocks”. I couldn’t tell if he was joking or not so I just carried on drawing.

“Well, I’m no writer but I liked it” Davy said and I could almost hear Miles trying to decide which gay joke to tell first. I was surprised to hear him just mumble ‘Good for you Davy’

Bill came over to join them and he looked a little guilty, not sure why. I decided I’d ask him about it later.

“Waft” he commanded James before bending over to demonstrate with his hands which was a little hard since he was holding a can of Stella Artois “Waft” he repeated and James nodded before copying him with his coat, getting the fire to burn bigger.

“Bloody hell, that’s actually working” Miles commented and Bill smirked.

“I’m not just a pretty face” he said back.

“Say that again, but without the ‘just’” I shouted at him from across the clearing before standing up, getting a can of beer and joining them by the fire. We drunk a lot that night. I was okay because I can hold my liquor fairly well but all the boys got absolutely sloshed, dancing around the camp fire and poking it dangerously with this massive stick. At one point I had to hold James up so he didn’t fall despite the fact that he had his walking stick.

“I bloody love you” he shouted in my ear as he wrapped his arm around my neck.

“You too” I shouted back over Miles and Davy’s howling, knowing we didn’t mean it in the same way. Bill then jumped over the fire, like he was running hurdles and Miles cheered. I don’t think I’ve seen us this free since we were students at university. It was nice.

“No” James suddenly said as he shook his head and I frowned at him “I mean I’m in love with you. Have been for years”